3/13/2008

The Spitzer Hit The Fan


What's the deal with this guy? I mean now stupid can he be? Has he totally lost his motherfucking mind?? Five thousand bucks for THIS??!!



OK, she's kinda good looking. All oiled up and what not. Nice rack. But friends, this is NOT four-digit poon. Not even close. For that kind of money, this chick better be shitting GOLD DOUBLOONS out of her ASS. And something tells me that ain't happening.

In fact, I can't think of ANY circumstances under which a non-celebrity prostitute could command that kind of price. I mean, obviously there's a big difference between a $20 whore and a $200 prostitute. Factors include looks, experience, skill, cleanliness, and level of service.

Look, I'm no financial wizard, but I took Econ 101 in college. At a certain point, the LAW OF DIMINISHING RETURNS must be considered here - i.e., what can a $5,000 lady of the evening do for you that a $200 call girl can't??! Can she fix my car? Will she give me stock tips??! Sorry, I just can't see much added value.

So do you want a man who blows FIVE GRAND on sex to be handling your state budget?? Before you know it, he'd be THROWING AWAY MONEY on USELESS SHIT like education and public safety. And as your next president, I give you my SOLEMN VOW that that will NEVER HAPPEN under my administration!






14 comments:

Sassy Blondie said...

So what will you uselessly throw away the money on? Seriously, inquiring minds want to know...

UBERMOUTH said...

And I am just finding OUT now women can command MONEY for sex????
Okay, what's your highest offer?
do factor into the price that you ARE a foulmouthed, holey sweater clown!

Christie said...

I am saddened to report I would rather vote for you than any of the other candidates.

Man, that was hard to type while I am laughing my ass off.

The [Cherry] Ride said...

So what are you saying - that you'll only spend $20 for hookers instead of $5K?

Mighty Dyckerson said...

Sassy - I'm going to spend the money catching that Obama bar Laden and bringing him to justice!

Uber - You can't afford this poon.

Widow of the late McFatty - You mean women can vote now? When the hell did that shit start??!

Cherry - I am Dyckerson. Hookers should be paying ME.

Inchy said...

Hmmmm . . . now I've been to Amsterdam, and I was pretty well amazed at what £60 UK pounds could buy you over there, so much so that I spent way more than I initially assumed that I would require on a three day trip with just four of my best buddies for comfort. I remember that at one point we actually took a break from drink, drugs, hookers, and porn, to visit the Van Gogh Museum. That lasted all of 30 minutes before we returned to 'business as usual'.

sputnick said...

Thank you for the photo! Apparently the lass is quite expert in the ancient art of negotiation, and some of the cash was advance payment for future services - in other words, credit. The question is, will those services still be rendered now that there is an ongoing brouhaha? And if not, will there be a refund? Would it be a full refund or should a cancellation fee be deducted? What is the candidate's opinion?

Krissyface said...

I think the idea of paying for sex is kind of funny, especially when I'm over here giving it away for free.

catscratch said...

Look pal, if I can find a sucker who wants to give me even 2 grand to polish his knob, you better believe I'm there!

Mighty Dyckerson said...

Inchy - I don't care for Amsterdam. Too many foreigners.

Spatnock - I hope he saved his receipt. Either way, he'll probably be charged a restocking fee since her box has already been opened.

Krissy - What's your address??

Cat - How about $100 and a partially eaten Stuffy's sub sandwich?

The Middle Lifer said...

I guess it ain't like it used to be. Give her some crack, a bud, or a bottle and you were set. Talk about some wicked inflation....

OldHorsetailSnake said...

Boy howdy, I just can't wait till we get your penis in the Oval Office. I hope it's oval-shaped.

BUMBLE!!! said...

Seeing as the agency obviously went about discretion, it's not like he could show her off as a trophy. He's obviously older, so unless he's paying for a weekend, he's obviously not reloading for a 2nd round, so basically, for all that money he gets to blow his 1 time - maybe 2 if he's really quick on the draw and that being said (unless she knows some amazing Cosmo secret that will keep him from blowing for 45 minutes), he paid for sex with a gal that is average hot in almost and readily attainable in all places that 20 somethings hang out.

Dumbass people.

I'm still trying to figure out the investment decision in this woman.

Granted, she's hotter than his wife, but still...

Get a Hooter's girl for christsake.

I'm sure he could pay off one of them to keep her mouth shut (or not).

The Grand Wave said...

I must say if I was a governor I would spend LOTS of public funds on ridiculous stuff. I would buy like seven roombas just as cat toys, and then just claim I have a dirty floor.