2/27/2008

Label Access

Last night I was walking home from Bible study* when a lovely young woman walked up to me and said, "Mighty Dyckerson, I'm a huge fan of your blog! I love to read through your archives, but I wish there was a way to sort your posts by topic!"

Then it hit me like a sack of wet pork rinds: Blogger has a "label" feature that allows bloggers like myself to label their blog posts according to subject matter!

I tossed my Bible** in a nearby dumpster and turned to that lovely woman. "Miss, you are absolutely right," I told her. "I will get on that right away! And please, call me Dyckie."

"That's awesome, Dyckie!" she exclaimed. "Say, would you mind autographing my ample breasts?"

"It would be my pleasure," I replied. "Please expose them at this time."

I'll spare you the details of the rest of our steamy encounter, but suffice it to say poon was involved. The point is, The Mighty Blog now has labels! The staff of Dyckerson Enterprises Worldwide has spent countless hours combing through nearly three years of classic Mighty Blog literature, designating each and every post with a category label. You, the reader, may access these writings by simply clicking on the appropriate label in the sidebar!

For example, let's say you want to read about my excrement. Just scroll down the sidebar and click the link entitled Fecal Matters. You'll find out everything you need to know about my bowel movements dating back to June 2005. Or perhaps you'd like to read more about my run for the presidency. Well you're in luck, Pepe! There's a link for that as well!

Of course, trying to summarize my thoughts into a single, solitary category. I often cover a wide spectrum of topics in one post. Take this one, for instance. Clearly this goes under the heading of blogging...but wait a minute, there is also a brief mention of poon. What to do??! Well fortunately, the good people at Blogger have thought of everything. It is possible for ONE POST to have MORE THAN ONE LABEL! THINK OF THE IMPLICATIONS!!!

Now this is still a work in progress, so be sure to check back every day for new category labels! This way, I can keep repackaging the same crap over and over again for years! I'll never have to write another goddamn post again!!! So long, suckers!!!





* OK, it was a strip club.


** OK, it was a bottle of scotch.

20 comments:

The Middle Lifer said...

I am up way to early to read this today. Nice rings, bars, or whatever they are in her nips.

ADW said...

Sigh. I want new boobs.

I am too lazy for labels. All new readers are required to read every previous post I have written.

D-HOR said...

That's cool, I really did like your last excrement post - the one about wiping with a sock. Or was it an abandoned rag? Shit, well I guess now I can go back and see.

It took me a while but it was that post that really made me fall for you. - It's a hillbilly thing, you know, pooping on the ground and such.

CatScratch Diva said...

Nice tits.

You always have the best pictures... Boobs, ass...

You name it and you can find it here.

Wirthy said...

The people at Blogger HAVE thought of everything. My favorite feature they came up with is the ability to post my blog on the internet; That's a lot more convenient than what I used to: printing my blog entries and stapling them to light posts and bus stops.

The [Cherry] Ride said...

Dude, you need to put a "NSFW" warning on entries like this.

Your "Poon" label will pretty much contain every single entry you've ever written, won't it?

UBERMOUTH said...

You dirty little clown, you! :)

Mighty Dyckerson said...

Lifer - I believe those are bolts left over from a really bad boob job.

ADW - Your blog still has readers??

Hor - HOR!!! It was neither a sock nor a rag. It was a filthy towel.

Diva - There is much wisdom in your comments.

Wirthy - I used to tape my posts above urinals. Talk about a captive audience!

Cherry - Yes, "Poon" is sort of a catchall. Much like poon itself.

Uber - Wanna try on my big shoes??

~ Stacy ~ said...

Wow. Consider me impressed. You actually put some thought into labeling your posts. Nicely done, Mr. Dyckerson.

Judging by the number of posts per label, it would seem as though Fecal really does not Matter much, you seldom 'Reach Out and Fuck Someone', you don't eat your Wheaties or drink your milk, and you need to hire a new campaign manager.

On a different note: Wet pork rind?

I so did not need to have that visual implanted in my mind. Somebody really ought to take away your banana for that.

BUMBLE!!! said...

The things you do for your fans.
If you're going to share boob links, you can always add

www.ratemyrack.com

Mighty Dyckerson said...

Stacy - Fuck you, you fucking farting robots!

Bumble - No offense, but that is some nasty boobage. Which ones are yours?

Jake Titus said...

Thank god for "multiple labels" per post. If it wasn't possible, all my posts would fall under "WTF". That would suck, I mean really, what the fuck?

Beth said...

dyck, are you a little "freaky deaky"? those boobs look...odd...and the piercings...ouch.

ADW said...

Blog what? Blah blah blah. Monkey monkey monkey.

Stan Bull said...

Dyck is very possibly a living saint.
*Beth speaks the truth. There is, indeed, something disquieting about that there rack.

Effortlessly Average said...

Hmmmm... I don't see a "Premature Ejaculation" category, but I'm sure it'll be coming soon.

Sassy Blondie said...

I can't imagine The Mighty Blog getting any more exciting, but labels?? Wow. Just wow.

(Rolling my eyes)

sputnick said...

Awesome! Now, I would prefer this fantastic new feature to be right at the top of the sidebar, within easy clicking reach, but I see the Affiliates continue to dominate. Affiliates, of course, are links to other people's blogs. Why would those be at the top spot? Well, despite the hard-ass attitude, I can just feel the love the Dyck has deep down for his fans and assorted hangers-on. He's just one big softie inside.

Beth said...

Labels! How timely for me (a newcomer to your blog). It will make the time I spend viewing all your posts back to 2005 far more efficient.
(thanks for visiting my blog - you're a funny guy...)

karla said...

So you say Blogger has "labels?" So you can label your posts by category? Hey, that's cool!

In other news, I hear there's a new invention called a "cell phone," from which you can make a phone call without being hooked up to a phone jack! So many new inventions, the mind spins.