Top 10 Posts of 2007: #1

And now, the exciting conclusion to THE MIGHTY BLOG TOP TEN COUNTDOWN with your hosts, DICK CLARK and RYAN SEACREST!!!

DICK: Here it is, ladies and gentlemen! The moment you've all been waiting for! Yes, it's time for us to reveal Mighty Dyckerson's number 1 post of 2007! You can really feel the excitement, can't you Ryan??

RYAN: Yeah, whatever. Feel THIS, you wrinkled old corpse!

DICK: This wrinkled corpse can still kick your pansy ass, princess! Anyway, the number 1 post was published way back in October 2007. Mighty Dyckerson had just returned from a weekend retreat in the mountains where he encountered some wild and exotic animals. Coming in at number 1, here's The Call Of The Wild!!!


RYAN: Ha ha ha ha ha! That's precious! And that's it for our 2007 countdown! Dick, as always, its been a pain in the butt working with you.

DICK: You should know all about butt pain, you no-talent ass goblin!

RYAN: Why don't you fucking retire, old timer?? You're irrelevant in today's world!

DICK: That's it! You're going DOWN, bitch!!

This has been THE MIGHTY BLOG TOP TEN COUNTDOWN! Thanks for joining us, and Happy New Year!!!


Tyler Durden said...

The Call Of The Wild? That one is kinda gay. You have better posts.

Where is my price?

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

I'd like to watch those two throw down. I bet Dick Clark has a surprisingly effective, 1920's style of boxing, while Seacrest is a savage sissy fighter (lots of scratching, hair pulling, and hitting with open hands, saying "You brute!")

The HOR blogger said...

Tyler can suck your dirty sypilitic balls Dyck. I liked that post.
Boo Tyler, Boo.

sputnick said...

WHAT??? You're kidding, right? It's GOTTA be the thumbtack post. This is crazy. This is like Kucinich in the White House. The thumbtack (full title: "The Legend of the 13 Thumbtacks") post is by far and away Dyckerson's most daring and creative work ever, any imbecile can see that. Who are the incompetent morons behind the judging anyway??? I demand a recount! NOW!!!

Stan!! said...

None of your 2007 posts come close to the landmark "Screw the Handicapped" post from way back in 2006. A true golden oldie.
Syphilis is treatable with antibiotics if caught early...good to know, huh?

Robot Zombie Vampire said...

I suppose the recent lack in quality of The Mighty Blog is somewhat my fault -- I wasn't around when you needed me the most.

Effortlessly Average said...

I almost believed it was really Dick Clark until I actually heard him the other night. If it were him here, it would have been:

DICK: Here it ish, ladish and gentlemen! The mmnt u've all bin waiting for! Yesh, ish tim fore ush to revil Mighdee Dyckershun's numr 1 post of 2007!"

So close.

Mighty Dyckerson said...

Tyler - Gay??! You're the gay one! Mr. Gaylord McGaystein!!

Dr. K. - Actually, Dick is a black belt. On the old Bandstand, he once kicked a stagehand in the groin for bringing him lukewarm coffee. Hurt like a sumbitch.

Hor - HOR!! You tell 'em!!!

Spitnock - You might have a "point" there. Get it? Thumbtacks? Point???

Stan - Ah yes, the good ole days. Thanks for taking me down memory lane.

RZV - You're here now, and that's what counts. Wait a minute...who the fuck are you??

Average - Oddly enough, if you watch him while drunk, he makes perfect sense!

Pud said...

Happy New Year you crazy clown!

Sassy Blondie said...

Poor Dick Clark! First the stroke and then having to deal with Ryan Seacrest...shame on you guys for making fun of poor old Dick.

Ready for the New Year, Dyckie?

Effortlessly Average said...

Ol' Dick Clark seemed to be channelling Casey Casem there for a moment.

"...the number 1 post was published way back in October 2007... Here, Ryan, is your long distance dedication."

Effortlessly Average said...

Oh, and of course Hor liked that post: she was in it! heh. I'm sure some of Steven Seagal's favorite movies are those he was in, but that don't make them Turner Classic worthy. ha!

Diva said...

Is Ryan Seacrest even real? I think he's a plastic Dick wannabe with shiny teeth.

Stan!! said...

Your comparison between Mr Dyckerson and that Seacrest fella is significantly mistaken. For one thing, Dyck is widely known to be a full-time, practising unhomersexual and a God fearing Christian man. I believe sassy blond can confirm this....at least, the "God fearing Christian man" part.

Of course, Dyck's college days have been the subject of considerable debate-as he was reputed to have indulged in sporadic, flamerite tendencies whilst up at DYCK U.

Mighty Dyckerson said...

Pud - And happy new year to you and your ass.

Sassy - I heard Dick was stroking himself that whole night.

Avg - Aren't they the same person?

Diva - Oh, he wants dick alright...just not Mr. Clark.

Stan - I was young and confused! It didn't mean anything!!

BUMBLE!!! said...

Is it just me or do you get the feeling that Dick Clark is being kept alive for the sole reason of nobody wanting Ryan Seacrest in charge of anything more?

He's like the blob - wiping out all that he touches and growing larger and scarier.

What's worse is that he could spawn cheesier sequels that lack any purpose at all.

Effortlessly Average said...

Are who the same person, Dyck? Hor and Seagal? Well I dunno; I know he's got man boobs now, but something tells me Hor's a hell of a lot sexier nevertheless.

Sassy Blondie said...

I would still watch a fathead cutout of Dick Clark before opening one eye for that junk-tucking Ryan Seacrest! He makes me feel very violent and twisted.

marky said...

My personal favorite was the one where you beat Don Henley at ping pong, got into a gay wrestling brawl with him and you both enjoyed it so much he let you go on tour with Eagles. You know the rest. It's such a long story.

Stan!! said...

Could Marky be referring to Dyck's "Don Henley Meltdown" virtuouso post from 2006? I don't vremember any gay wrestling though.
Yep, that was a good 'un.

Dyck's post on the absurdity that is Restless Legs Syndrome remains an all-time classic, of course. I believe it is a post that is still being dissected in medical circles.