Top 10 Posts of 2007: #4 - #2

And now, we return to THE MIGHTY BLOG TOP TEN COUNTDOWN with your hosts DICK CLARK and RYAN SEACREST!!!

DICK: Thank you so much, and welcome back! I'm TV's Dick Clark! Ryan and I are counting down Mighty Dyckerson's top ten posts of 2007!

RYAN: That's right, you old fossil...and we're getting down to the wire, folks! The excitement in the air is simply indescribable! Wouldn't you say so, Dick?

DICK: How the fuck did you get this job anyway? Wasn't Regis available??

RYAN: Ha ha, you're such a kidder! Let's move on to number 4 on the big countdown! As some of you may recall, a new weight loss drug called Alli hit the market. Well when Mighty Dyckerson got wind of this, he really hit the roof! Ha ha ha ha ha!! Anyway, without further ado, here's Pardon My Oily Spotting!!!

DICK: Seriously, did you win a contest or something? I don't get it!!


RYAN: Wow, that was really super! Hey Dick, I just realized something! Your first name is Dick, and Mighty Dyckerson's name is Dyck! That's Dick and Dyck! Ha ha ha ha ha!!

DICK: Yeah, two dicks. You must really be in Heaven right now. OK, moving right along...number 3 on our countdown is really a literary masterpiece. Penned only a few weeks ago, it's the haunting and enchanting Ode To Sassy Blondie!!!


DICK: Hey Ryan, what's the longest running game show in daytime television?

RYAN: Well it sure as hell wasn't that "Pyramid" show, was it? They canceled that piece of shit like 2o years ago! I was still in high school! Ha ha ha ha!

DICK: Your breath reeks of semen. Anyway, I was referring of course to "The Price is Right." Our Mighty D. went to see a taping of that very show last April, and he chronicled his entire trip in a 7-part series aptly titled, A Dyck In Hollywood!


RYAN: Wow, that was really great! I can't imagine what could possibly top that! How about you, gramps??

DICK: Gramps is going to cram your tube of hair gel up your fucking ass!!

RYAN: Hey, that sounds like fun!

DICK: I should have known. Anyway, be sure to tune in tomorrow for the NUMBER 1 POST OF 2007!! We'll see you then!!!

RYAN: What did you mean by that last comment?

DICK: You're my bitch now, so just drop it.


Sassy Blondie said...

Where is my exciting prize??! And to think, my ode made it all the way to #3? Who would have thunk it?

sputnick said...

Phewwww! I was worried that there might be an anomaly, with the best post ending somewhere in #2 - #4. Glad to see that the judges are sensible people who know their jobs. And a good thing too it wasn't left to a voter call-in.

Beth said...

Happy New Year Dyck. May you be even sicker in the new year!

BUMBLE!!! said...

Happy New Years to you, Dick Clark's life supported self, and that asshole Ryan Seacrest too.

Here's to 2008.