12/10/2007

Deadbeat Bloggers

'Tis the season to be jolly...and to say adios to the delinquent bloggers in my sidebar. As you know, being a Mighty Blog affiliate is a privilege, not a right. And as such, I reserve the right to tell you to FUCK OFF if you refuse to regularly update your blog with high quality material such as that found here on The Mighty Blog. So without further ado, here is the latest round of fuckoffs. Did YOU make the list???


Because Scientists Really Are Funnier Than You Are - This is still an active blog, but dammit, it's too fucking hard to read. The text is too small, and it blends in to the background. Not only that, but the posts overlap into the right sidebar. Messy and not worth the effort.

Blog Portland - All you have to do is click the link to see why this blog is getting the axe. Our old friend McFatty apparently moved on without leaving a forwarding address. This is a big NO-NO per the Mighty Blog Affiliates Code:

  • Section II, Paragraph 3: An affiliate blog may not cease operations without the prior written consent of Mighty Dyckerson or a designated representative of Mighty Dyckerson Enterprises Worldwide.


I Must Be Slipping - Yeah, you're slipping, alright. You haven't updated your fucking blog since SEPTEMBER. Take a hike, loser.

Otaku Photog (AKA "EWink") - This guy is a news videographer. Every day he deals with fires, car wrecks, and mangled bodies. If anybody should have an ample supply of blog fodder, it's him. But does he share any of it with us?? NOOOOO!!! See you in Hell, EWink!!!

Randomness - She posts. She doesn't post. She posts. She doesn't post. I've tried coaching her. I've tried counseling her. I even paid for her boob job. Well I'm through with that bitch!*

Scary Monster - This is a perfect example of what happens when a new blogger takes to the Internets by storm, adding new blog posts several times every day. He set an impossible pace for himself, and eventually he got burned out. It's sad, really. It pains me to have to do this, but Monster, I'm FUCKING YOU OFF.

Surreptitious Psychosis - In her most recent post, Aza promises to update again soon. Well that was back in August. AUGUST, people!!! Well Aza, I'm deleting your blog SOON...and by soon, I mean NOW.

Tiny Voices in My Head - Here's a hot chick who had herself a really nice blog. Interesting content, lots of readers, everything you could ever ask for. But she had to piss it all away to start some girlie rock band and pretend to play guitar. I bet she only knows one chord. Such a shame.


Finally, there are several bloggers on the endangered species list. These blogs are hereby placed on PROBATION until they are updated by their rightful owners:




That's it, you've been warned! If you dipshits don't get your shit together fast, you're going on the chopping block during the next round of fuckoffs! HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!




* Please come back, darling!




33 comments:

Sassy Blondie said...

I'm not sure that you could characterize the prize as "exciting"...but I'll take my chances...

Scary Monster said...

Awwww, Dyck. You always say the nicest things. Looks like Me started slumming just in time to save me good name. Me No Blog might be dead but the Monster still fuckin STOMPS! Iffin you think that Jesus Christ done did a cool trick fer Easter just wait till the Scary Monster starts droppin wolf bait once again....

BLEEEECH!

Crunchy BC said...

Damn. Getting on your shit list would be the best thing that ever happened to my blog.

Maybe next time.

The [Cherry] Ride said...

OK, you can admit it, Dyck. I'm still on the list because you are attracted to me. It is OK. Lots of people are.

The HOR blogger said...

What about STAN? He's been out for over a month.

marky said...

yeah fuck these fucking fucks.

Christie said...

So since McFatty is outta the picture, can I just be Christie again?

Mighty Dyckerson said...

Ms. Blondie - How do you know? You haven't seen the "prize" yet! ;)

Monster - Me knew you would be back. CHUMP!

CBC - Keep up the mediocre work. You'll get there someday.

HOR - Stan is a major Dyck supporter. I don't see you voting for me in any online polls...

Marky - Fuckin' A.

Bride of McFatty - Not unless you divorce him...and stop posting pictures of his semen on your chin.

puerileuwaite said...

I never cared for those bozos anyway. They shall not be missed. But I knew that you were fond of them, so reluctantly I remained silent. I now realize that this was a big mistake.

And just like how the world once stood by and did nothing to stand up to Hitler, not once did I speak up and decry the damage that listing them did to your reputation and your blog. Let this be a lesson to us all.

Beth said...

I say cut 'em like they stole somethin!!!

Effortlessly Average said...

Now I'm wondering who'll fill the empty slots. Clearly if I'm ever to have a shot, I need to grow tits and become a whole lot funnier.

sputnick said...

Now this is vintage Dyckerson. Rude, arrogant, and effortlessly funny. The romantic whining and rhyming we got previously just doesn't compare. Good to have you back! And keep up the good work!

Mighty Dyckerson said...

P - You mean you knew those other blogs sucked, and you said nothing??! That makes you just as bad as they are! Consider yourself on probation!

Beth - They did steal something. My time. And that can never be replaced.

Avg - Don't be silly, that isn't necessary. Just the tits will be fine.

Speetnack - Sorry to break this to you, but this comment is a rerun.

ADW said...

Because it was requested by you, oh great Dyck, I will not refer to myself in the 3rd person. At least on your blog. I don't want to end up like those other losers, getting offed from the sidebar.

Sudiegirl said...

So far I ain't on the choppin' block.

Good show.

Krissie said...

I have tits. An awarded pair, might I add.
Add me. (Yeah, I'm anything but funny, but I post.)

BottleBlonde said...

I'm non-pleasantly surprised to see that my blog isn't on the chopping block. I only have time to post once a week since I spend most of my free time offline, grooming the Grand Canyon that is my vagina. So I thought for sure that my once a week posts would have qualified me for the guillotine.

ItsMeMaven said...

I got hot reading this post.

Should I go see my gyno about this affliction?

Maven

Mighty Dyckerson said...

ADW - We appreciate that.

Sudie - Are you even on my sidebar??

Krissie - Come on, whip 'em out!!

Bot - Why don't you hire a Mexican to groom your cooter? They already have all the necessary landscaping tools.

RevRee said...

WOW! That was close! I'm still on the list! ohhhh yeahhhhh!

The Middle Lifer said...

Damn, I guess I better get busy! Anyone want to dare to cut me off in traffic right now? This is the season to be a total ahole it seems in traffic.

Tyler Durden said...

You cant chop the monster. He comments in your blog every day. STOMP!

Now since you have space, add me to your fucking side bar. You read my shit anyway. I feel like the fat girl that wants to be a cheerleader, but dammit! I want my blog there...

Mighty Dyckerson said...

RevRee - Shit, thanks for reminding me! You're off the list too.

Lifer - No kidding. I'm usually the only a-hole on the road when I'm out and about. Now everybody's getting in on the act.

Tyler - You're already on my fucking sidebar, jackass. Don't you recognize your own blog??!

RevRee said...

Dyckerson, you're Dead to me!

Bostick said...

I am still going to comment here.

Turn that shit off.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Phew!! I'm glad I wasn't on your shit list.

Kadonkadonk said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kadonkadonk said...

Wait, I have boobs. I even blog about them. Proof. And they are big, too. Does that at least get me to round 2?

Mighty Dyckerson said...

RevRee - Even so, you're still not getting any inheritance.

Bistock - Your pants are on fire.

Dr. Loudliquid - No, but you are on my piss list. Check for that tomorrow.

Kadinkadunk - Yeah, but what have you posted lately???

Willo Keays said...

Are we having a best boobs contest or something? Mine are still posted at 25peeps in the Hall of Fame.

Wait .... don't go there! You're all perverts!

Ms Smack said...

damn, I could never reach your high standards!

Sudiegirl said...

Yes you bone, I'm on your sidebar. I've been there a little while now.

You've bent my feelings.

~ Stacy ~ said...

Gee. What a lovely bunch of cuckoo nuts.

I have no idea why I said that.

I'm not posting again until 2008, Mr. Dyckerson. Wanna spank me?

:)