9/07/2007

Tag THIS, Morons!

Listen up, kids. I've been blogging for over 35 years now, and during that time I have been memed, maimed, mocked, tagged, tugged, and yanked to death. So please do not send me invitations to answer a bunch of dumbass questions about my personal life. Trust me, the less you people know about my personal life, the better.

I have absolutely no interest in compiling a list of thirteen D-list celebrities I'd like to have urinate on my head. Nor will I rearrange the letters in my name to come up with adjectives that describe the interior of my large intestine. Finally, under no circumstances will I share my innermost secrets, highest hopes, or deepest fears with you crack smoking ass goblins. I would rather dip my nuts in honey and cover them with an army of hungry fire ants.

Furthermore, I refuse to perpetuate these 21st-century chain letters by passing them on to other bloggers. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. And if your life is so fucking empty that you have to rely on memes to fill your blog, for God's sake find another source of online entertainment like Spider Solitaire or Texas Hang 'Em or child pornography. Or better yet, master the art of identity theft and steal the name of someone with an actual personality.

Oh, and one more thing. I know you jackasses are dying to leave me retarded comments like "You've been tagged, ha ha!" Please spare me. If I want to read something funny, I'll look at your SAT scores. Now get the fuck out of here before I "tag" you upside the head with one of Jenny's steel dildos.

23 comments:

~ Stacy ~ said...

Wah, wah, wah! Yeesh. Could you be a bigger whiney-ass.

Fuck clowns.

ADW said...

Listen up cockmonger. I'll do what I want to you and you'll like it.

Mighty Dyckerson said...

Stacy - That's it. You're banned.

ADW - Oooh, you do NOT want to mess with the Dyck tonight, beeyotch! Bring it on!!!!!!!!!

stan the caddy said...

You seem a little bit irritable. better get your blood sugar checked.

MsPuddin said...

damn, who pissed on your keyboard?

MsP

Stan!! said...

What the hell has gotten into you, Mightonimous?
The anger, the rage, the references to ass goblins.It sounds like self-esteem issues to me ....Oh, I gotcha ya...the ole Erectile Disfunction has set in again, eh? It is treatable, Dyckums.

karla said...

It's so cute how you act like people actually read this crappy blog.

Mighty Dyckerson said...

Stan 1 - Are you saying I might have diabeetus?

Ms. P - Don't get me started.

Stan 2 - Treatable, eh? Oh that's right, tea is your people's remedy for everything.

Ms. Babble - Go change a diaper. Preferably mine.

puerileuwaite said...

I for one would welcome getting tagged upside the head with one of Jenny's steel dildos, provided I get to keep it. Let's be honest: I'll probably get way more cash for one of those from the scrap metal dealer, than for an empty beer keg.

Meme is a stupid name for a stale blog tradition. So let's rename it "Mam" for the boobs who enjoy it. Then Mighty D should create "The ULTIMATE Mam".

Stan the Caddy said...

Diabeetus? No, I was thinking you might have testicular cancer. In layman's terms that a 'rotting nutsack'.

It's Me... Maven said...

Nothing that a little Anal Ease and a Vitamin B12 sublingual tablet used as a rectal suppository couldn't cure!

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to siphon out my eyes with a Rainbow carpet cleaner just to get the visual of a "rotting nutsack" out of my head.

Mighty Dyckerson said...

P - As big as that dildo is, you could probably melt it down and build an army tank out of it.

Stan - Settle down. Don't get testes with me.

Stacy - What the hell is a Rainbow carpet cleaner? Is it similar to a forklift??

Scary Monster said...

Hey, Dyck!! You tag me and get me to tell you about thirteen things me has found in me ass, (luckily Jenny's dildo weren't one of them) but you won't make us a list of yer favorite porn stars. Not fair Dyck, not fair at all.

STOMP.

Anonymous said...

Are you calling me a moron or a dildo. What's an SAT? LL

~ Stacy ~ said...

Stacy - What the hell is a Rainbow carpet cleaner?

Ask your mother. And while your at it, ask her how to actually spell your middle name, rather than signing it with her thumb and finger into an 'L' on her forehead.

Oh that's right. I'm banned. My bad. Just make-believe that I never left a 2nd comment here. It shouldn't be too difficult for you. You're rather good at pretending.

And I mean that with the utmost respect.

{snicker}

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

A steel dilly, huh? Those are good in case a gal is going to town on herself when an intruder comes in her home. That way she can whap him upside the head with a long, hard, sticky, smelly, steal rod.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Jesus, I spelled steel wrong! Speaking of piss-poor SAT scores . . .

Open Grove Claudia said...

It's interesting to me that Stan!! knows all about your ED problems. Are you Mrs. Stan?? Is it his tagging that bothers you??

tfg said...

Dyck, you couldn't get tagged in Honduran whorehouse with a bucket of green cards.

Mighty Dyckerson said...

Monster - Who said life was fair? Besides, Dyckersonville is not ruled by a democracy. STUMP!

Lindsay - Just shut up and look pretty for the paparazzi.

Stacy - Damn woman, are you PMSing or what?

Dr. K - Or just hold it under his nose. Equally deadly.

Claudia - No, but those Brits are all a little fruity.

TFG - You're back?!? When the hell did they let you out of rehab??!

Jenny! said...

I don't want to have to give anyone a concusion with my dildo...so ya'll better straighten up and respect the Dyck!

Webmiztris said...

"Or better yet, master the art of identity theft and steal the name of someone with an actual personality."

I fucking love you, dyck!

Sassy Blondie said...

If your ass is that chapped, try a lil Budreau's Buttpaste. It'll make you feel all better...

(I hate memes too..and forwarded emails! Blegh!)