8/15/2007

"Extracurricular Activities"

Check out this shit from the local news:


A former area cheerleading coach has been charged with taking indecent liberties with a minor. Tammie Fleming, 37, was arrested last Wednesday.
Powhatan authorities say she worked at Dominion Cheer and Tumble on Sommerville Court in Midlothian as a cheerleading coach when she had an intimate relationship with a 17-year old student. Authorities say the relationship between Fleming and the boy had been ongoing for several months. A parent told us the gym owners weren't ready to talk and wanted to first consult an attorney. Fleming is free on bond after an appearance in Powhatan Juvenile and Domestic Relations Court last week. She'll be back before a judge next month.


I love stories like this. A 17-year-old punk, scoring with a hot 37-year-old CHEERLEADING COACH! Sounds like there was some "cheering and tumbling" going on in the back room after class, if you know what I'm saying!! But really, what did poor Tammie do that was so wrong? Give some pimply faced dork the greatest sex of his adolescent - probably his ENTIRE - life??! What, you don't believe me?? Take a look at this MILF!!!



Are you fucking KIDDING ME?? That's the hottest mug shot I have ever seen in my life, and that's coming from a guy who has seen a lot of mug shots. Even posed for a few. If I were that kid, I'd give her something to cheer about! I'd shake her pompoms and make her do the splits!!

Seriously, who is the victim here? Do you honestly think that 17-year-old is traumatized by this? Do you think he's laying in bed curled up in the fetal position, sucking his thumb and crying his eyes out?? HELL NO! This guy is a goddamn HERO!!! And smart too...geez, he's a GENIUS!!! Do you honestly think he was interested in taking CHEERLEADING LESSONS??! BULLSHIT!!!!! This guy was a man with a plan...to score HOT, SWEATY SEX and perhaps learn a thing or two from a woman with some fucking EXPERIENCE IN THE SACK!!! He'll be telling his grandchildren stories about this. Hell, if it were me, I'd be telling EVERYBODY about it!!! Here, look at her picture again:




Where the fuck do these hot bitches come from??! When I was in school, all my teachers were FAT, UGLY, and OLD. And the only female gym teacher I had was a RAGING BULL DYKE. One more time:



Good God almighty, I would bang this chick until my dick fell off! Then I'd reattach it with some duct tape and bang her some more!!! What do you think they did exactly? I bet she likes it rough. I'm guessing she tied him up, then put on some dance music and performed for him in her old high school cheerleader outfit. Or maybe he put on a dog collar and ate whipped cream off her POON. The world may never know.

I don't know how she got busted, but I'd bet Ms. Babble's children the boy didn't turn her in. More likely he made copies of their sex tape for all of his new friends, and one of them uploaded it to YouSplooge. Regardless, if there is ANY JUSTICE IN THIS WORLD, this woman will get off. (Actually, "getting off" is what got her in trouble to begin with. HA HA.) If anyone should be charged, it should be the DUMBASS HUSBAND for not keeping his trophy wife sexually satisfied. Rest assured if Tammie was my wife, she'd never leave the bed!!!

Of course if she does end up doing time for this, I will be there to pay her conjugal visits...FIVE TIMES A DAY. And if she needs a place to stay, Mighty Dyckerson's Halfway Whorehouse will be open for business!! Now if you'll excuse me, I need to bake a cake with a file in it...


38 comments:

blog Portland said...

I think that the boy should also be sentenced... to a round of beers and high fives.

Pud said...

I'm surprised she's got arrested and charged too. For most states 16 is the age for consentual sex.

Stan! said...

It's "consensual" my dear.
Dyck, I'd certainly like to go visit Tammy in the slammer, take some indecent liberties and all. But I have doubts as to whether Tammy would want to ride the post-pubescent male. She may have developed a taste for fresher meat than ours...

Beth said...

ahhh dyck...you never fail to nauseate me...

really tho, he's 17? he aint hurtin, that's for sure.

do you really think she's hot? I just don't see it........

Ryan said...

They should be throwing a parade for these two. I'm positive she is only be charged with a crim out of jealousy. I bet she has an ass that can take a serious beating.

latt├ęgirl said...

It looks to me like she forgot to put her dentures in. (Not that most young men wouldn't like a good gumming.)

Webmiztris said...

where's a pic of the kid? I wanna know if he was bangable or not. if he was hot, I'm on her side - if he was a little pipsqueak, she totally deserves what's coming to her. ;)

ADW said...

I mean seriously.... He was 17, isn't that the legal age for joining the Israeli army or something? The dad was probably jealous he didn't score the poon first and the mom was hating on a MILF.

Of course if some old hot hag tried to have her way with my baby boy, it'd be a different story. Yes siree.

Dixie said...

He's 17 fer chris'sake! He's old enough.

Sornie said...

Something tells me that the 17 year old wasn't exactly objecting. I knwo that at 17 I would have taken her into the back seat.

Patti said...

If her hair were more blonde she'd look exactly like the cheerleading coach at my highschool. The coach at our school liked girls though. Regardless, none of them complained and it was seen as a natural part of sexual curiosity. None of this crying "MOLESTATION" bullshit. She never forced anyone. She was hot, we...I mean they were curious. Big deal.

The English teacher on the other hand liked the boys and "tutored" them at her house while her husband was away on business. Every last boy spoke English so I'm not sure why they needed her one-on-one assistance. But she was vigilant...such a devoted teacher.

*sigh* those were the days....and hubby and I STILL tell those stories some 20-odd years later.

Dyck!! said...

McFatty - I'm buying!

Pud - Really? Would you happen to have a list of those states handy?

Stan - I hear she only likes American food.

Beth - Gimme a Y! Gimme an E! Gimme an S! What's that spell??!

Ryan - A parade would be a great idea. I want to be in charge of making the floats.

Latte - Don't be dissin' the woman I love!

Miz - No pics of the kid. Remember, he's just a defenseless child and must be protected.

ADW - Let your boy make his own decisions. You just worry about cleaning up the dog turds.

Dixie - Damn right!

Sornie - I would've taken her in the "back seat" too...and I didn't even have a car then!

Patti - The English teacher, eh?? I bet she was helping the boys with their dangling participles.

Christie said...

Have we all looked past the fact that the kid was a BOY CHEERLEADER? Hello? The male cheerleaders at our school got beaten up and were gay. The fact he got laid impresses me more than the fact it was with a hot teacher.

MsPuddin said...

Damn. What school did YOU go to? I think everyone in the athletics department at my high school took it up the butt…

MsP

Patti said...

Oh I'm sure they interjected their direct objects with great abandon as they worked in conjunction to justify her font.

(what the hell does that even mean???....I'm lost...)

Tyler Durden said...

If when my boys turn 17, they get to tag the cheerleading coach, I'm gonna be a proud daddy.

Atta boy you little pimple faced piece of shit. I hope you got to stick her in the butt.

Legaleagle said...

Sometimes, when I see the 17 year old boys outside at soccer practice, sweating, without their shirts on, I think 'if only it weren't a felony'.....

Then I remember, at 17 years old a boy doesn't even know what to do. SO not worth the felony conviction.

Jenny! said...

It couldnt have been that good with a 17 year old kid...his pimply ass probably came so quick she didn't even get a change to get wet!

Stan! said...

Speaking from experience again, Jenny?My little lioness in heat!

Dyck!! said...

Christie - That was my point! He didn't give a shit about cheerleading. He just signed up for the class to get in her PANTS!! At least that's my theory. And it's a damn good one if I do say so myself. And I just did.

Tapioca - Sounds like you went to one of them privates schools.

Patti - I love it when you talk dirty!

Tyler - Isn't your boys' cheerleading coach a DUDE??

Eagle - DUH. That's why you chop them up and bury the bodies when you're done with them.

Jenny - I don't know, I bet she gave him plenty of one-on-one instruction.

Stan - The lioness is going to maul you if you keep trying to steal her from me!

Sassy Blondie said...

Gimme a break! She's the one with the problem! As a former athletic coach and cheerleading sponsor, I had dads and silly teenage boys always trying to make time, but puhleeze!

Does the fact that he paid for his lessons make this more of a prostitution case than anything else?

Scary Monster said...

Me be feeling so sorry fer that kid right now. He poontang be inna hooscow and the other cheergirls ain't gonna give him any pom pom play since he been lettin the coach play with he baton.

STOMP.

Jenny! said...

Maybe she got off on popping his zits before she rode him hard and put him away wet!

The lioness needs some meat to stay happy!

-=StreetJesus=- said...

This is my first visit to your blog and...THIS SHIT IS FUNNY AS HELL! I will definitely be back.

http://streetjesus.blogspot.com

The [Cherry] Ride said...

Blame the parent's. Not the kid's - they deserve an award for fine child rearing! - but the coach. If you name your daughter "Tammie" this is the kind of behavior you can expect. The woman was born to have sex with underagers.

Yeah Him said...

16 is the age of consent, but under 18 is minor.

Whenever I hear stories like that, I don't know whether to think of Hannity and Colmes reporting on the rash of female teachers gettin' busy with the too cool 17 year olds or that episode of South Park with Ike and his kindergarten teacher.

Dyck!! said...

Blondie - We can't be sure he paid for the lessons. Maybe he had a cheerleading scholarship.

Monster - Me disagree. He be a stud now. The ladies will be all over him. SLURP!

Jenny - I'll give you some meat that'll make you purrrrr!

Jesus - I see how it is. You butter me up, then sneak in a shameless plug. Well done.

Cherry - Actually, I think it was the coach who got reared.

Him - You seem to know a lot about child sex laws...

~ Stacy ~ said...

Heh. You said 'YouSplooge'. That was sorta funny.

Crunchy BC said...

Mighty Dyckerson's Halfway Whorehouse? Is that kind of like the Ronald McDonald House, except the burgers are made of fur?

Willo Keays said...

As the mother of a 17 year old son ... well ... I dunno about this one. I certainly would be mighty pissed if I found out about the relationship - but would I have the b*tch arrested? No ... I'd probably just take care of the matter myself and beat her senseless. After all - cheerleaders break rather easily. {Thats one thing I learned in High School!}

Jenny! said...

Mmmmmm, meat! Do you mind if I rub up on your leg?

Lindystar the HOR blogger said...

Darling Dyck, where in the world do you come from where that is hot?
Latte's right looks like somebody forgot to catch her on a basket toss and she landed on her face. Seriously Dyck, bless your heart and her's too but you might want to consider a new location.

Maybe it's just this pic??

I wonder if he was just trying to prove that he's not gay? If he was then damn boy GOOD JOB! I'll bet his daddy's proud.

Dyck!! said...

Stacy - Where the fuck have you been??

CBC - No, they're made of lead. We have them imported from China.

Willo - Oooh, a catfight! Can I watch?

Jenny - You can rub my third leg, you little vixen you!

Hor - Maybe I need to have my eyeglass prescription updated. On the other hand, maybe it's better this way.

george costanza said...

sure she's do-able but she does have a face like a frying pan.

puerileuwaite said...

WTF? You're ALREADY on to your next post? Well here's my 2-cents anyway.

It should only be a crime when it's one of the cheerleaders from the "Hey Mickey" video. Then it's a sin against nature regardless of age.

Kitty said...

I fucked a 17 year old lucky little fucker (he was drunk) and I was uuuuum, 27 I think, or 28. My therapist at the time threatened to shop me to the coppers. What a cunt! Needless to say I didn't suck my therapist's cock ever again in case he called the police on himself and lost his job.

karla said...

Man, she doesn't look anything like my cheerleading coach. My cheerleading coach could have been mistaken for an NFL linebacker. Which means you might actually have had a shot with her.

Dyck!! said...

George - I hope that's a nonstick frying pan.

P - This is a fast moving blog. Try to keep up.

Kitty - So you had to take away your therapist's "jobs" so he wouldn't lose his...job??

Ms. Babble - I think I read about her. Wasn't she arrested for pussy fighting?