7/06/2007

Another Satisfied Customer!

Over half a year has passed since I published my controversial post on the absurdity that is Restless Legs Syndrome, yet the hate continues to pour in! In the original post, I accused drug companies of making up RLS to sell pills to idiots who are too lazy to get off their asses and exercise their "restless legs." Furthermore, I envisioned a support group in which all the participants sat in a semicircle with legs a-twitching, saying things like "Hi, my name is Larry, and I have restless legs." Well, it seems those RLS freaks are a sensitive bunch. Just read some of the comments I'm getting:



Anonymous said...

The only thing sensible to say to you is FUCK YOU! or KISS MY ASS! It's ignorant uneducated assholes like yourself that spout off about things they know absolutely nothing about.

1/08/2007 04:26:00 PM


Dyckerson responds...


FUCK YOU, you fucking farting robot! Here I am, suffering from the worst case of WKS (Wounded Knee Syndrome) I have ever seen, and you call me INGORANT??! Did I not visit the official RLS web site and cite it directly?? I'm sorry to upset you, but Dyckerson speaks only the truth...and sometimes the truth hurts. Now SUCK MY DEAD PIG!!!

Anonymous said...

Yeah, anything for a laugh on the Internet. The only place in the world you don't have to back up your ridiculous bullshit with actual facts.

2/15/2007 04:52:00 PM


Dyckerson responds...


I don't like letting facts get in the way of a perfectly good rant. But since you brought it up, what facts are you referring to? The fact that you're an asshat? Or the fact that RLS is bullshit disease that didn't even exist until some marketing moron thought it up two years ago?


Anonymous said...

Your an idiot, you gothic nigger bitch, you dont have a clue of what the fuck your talking about, the pills are for when you go to sleep at night, i suffer from this and your a total dumbass gives people a hard time to sleep since it seems like there foot is straining or twitching from the 'inside' of your foot, your a fucking idiot, next time read more about what ever the hell your talking about and actually feed us the right type of information you dumb faggot. All that you said was total bullshit.

7/06/2007 09:07:00 PM


Dyckerson responds...

Whoa, you're getting personal with all the name calling. Are you sure you have RLS? Sounds more like Tourette's to me. First off, I am not gothic...nor am I a nigger bitch. I am a caucasian, and this honky bitch is gonna FUCK YOU UP if you don't show me some fucking RESPECT. So tell me, why the hell are you coming HERE for medical information?? That would be like ME coming to YOU for advice on GRAMMAR. But since you asked, I think I can honestly help you and save you some money at the same time. Take two Nytols and a bottle of Jack before going to bed every night. It's cheaper than those designer drugs you're taking, and you don't even need a prescription. And if your precious feet are still bothering you, you may want to consider amputation. I know of a theme park that will do it for free.



In closing, I would like to say that you RLS people are no fun at all. Hell, I've known quadriplegics with AIDS and tit cancer who were more laughs. Maybe it's really your genitals that are restless - maybe you need to GET LAID. Why don't you go find a pill for that?!? In the meantime, keep the hate coming my way. Gives me good blog material when I haven't had any interesting bowel movements to talk about.


26 comments:

Sassy Blondie said...

OMG! I can't believe I'm going to say this (mostly because I will be agreeing with you on SOMETHING), but I too believe that RLS is simply made up to sell expensive drugs! What a bunch of horse shit! If your legs are restless, get up and get the circulation going, you whining idiot!

BTW Dyck-I went to Six Flags Over Texas yesterday and rode Superman 3 times just waiting for a cable to snap. Alas, I still have my feet and no lawsuit.

Tyler Durden said...

Suck my dead pig? Is this only for the "fucking farting robot" or for all the RLS people? So where are we keeping this dead pig that the RLS dumb asses are supposed to suck? Do we have only one pig or is there a giant storage room full of dead pigs? How are we going to work the logistics of this dead pig sucking?

puerileuwaite said...

A while back I saw a segment on TV where they suspended a restless horse in a container of semi-solid material (peanut husks, grain or something similar) to immobilize it and calm it down for therapy. Maybe we can try this with your RLS-afflicted critics, only with cement.

blog Portland said...

And this whole time I thought it stood for Really Long Schlong. At least that made sense why you'd dispute it's existence.

RevRee said...

"Really long schlong"

I like that better

Ari said...

RLS, while it is a serious thing, people need to lighten up. The only think RLS Really causes is Insomnia. Which really sucks, when your legs move and you excersize and are in shape and you can't sleep becauase you have leftover energy it stinks, but people laugh a little, I know I did.

Mighty Dyckerson said...

Blondie - Come over here and ride my cable! I promise it won't snap...although it may spit at you.

Tyler - Check out Grandpa Dyckerson Theater in the sidebar.

P - I guess that's where the expression "hung like a horse" came from.

McFatty - I liked you better when you were on hiatus.

RevRee - I liked you better when you were on hiatus too.

Ari - Just another reason why exercise is for chumps.

RevRee said...

hey, dyck! Hiatus THIS!!!!!!

NAME: Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Was that Tourettes guy for real?? Scary.

He's restless and dumb from the nose to the toes.

Dixie said...

I have RLS. And I have to say that I think those folks need some therapy. And a trip to Wally World to purchase a sense of humor.

My RLS kicked in when I was pregnant. It's not as bad now, but it's still there. I don't take drugs for it though, I just deal with it.

The [Cherry] Ride said...

Thanks for trying to protect my anonymity, Dyck. But you can go ahead and state it: "Anonymous #3" was me. I made up most of that stuff, but I was just looking for an excuse to call you "nigger bitch" and "dumb faggot."

Webmiztris said...

omg, those comments were funny! my husband has mild RLS. drives me fucking nuts! he plays volleyball almost every evening too, so I don't know what else he can do!!

Jenny! said...

What is a gothic nigger bitch??? I get why he called you the bitch and nigger, but what of the gothic part? Have you ever met a gothic nigger??? Bitter fucktard is jealous cuz you can split girls in half wiht your mighty schloong!

Ryan said...

Restless Leg Syndrome has been around for ages. Most of us know it better by it's old name "ants in your pants."
It's serious business.

~ Stacy ~ said...

"...I know of a theme park that will do it for free..."

Heh. You're such a kidder.

So, I'm with Jenny... WTH is a gothic nigger?

Sassy Blondie said...

One of these days I'm going to write something that even your pervy mind can't come up with a sicko response.

I'll stick with Superman at this juncture.

It's Me... Maven said...

See, and here I am thinking of the merits of being boned by a guy with RLS, such as making the twitchin' work in my favor, "Twitch harder, faster, deeper, damnit!!"

Mighty Dyckerson said...

RevRee - Show me your ta...Never mind, I see you already have.

Dr. K - What, you think I'd make that up??!

Dixie - Maybe a second fetus snuck out of your womb and crawled inside your leg. I'd have that X-rayed if I were you.

Cherry - Takes one to know one.

Miz - You need to divorce that loser and marry me. I hate sports, and I'll never make you pop out a kid!

Jenny - You tell 'em! Now get over here and service my schlong!!

Ryan - I've had many bugs in my pants over the years, but never ants.

Stacy - I don't even know what a gothic honky is.

Blondie - Yeah, good luck with that! (I'm wearing nothing but a pair of Superman underoos right now...)

Maven - I hear Michael J. Fox's wife says that a lot.

Sassy Blondie said...

Damn it! Stop that! You have to let me win one, Dyck!

karla said...

You shouldn't make fun of people with problems. I have Restless Labia Syndrome, and it's not funny at all.

Mighty Dyckerson said...

Blondie - I love it when you beg. It's so sexy!

Ms. Babble - Please forgive me. I know how sensitive your labia can be.

tfg said...

You should really try to be more sensitive. I've been suffering from Breastless Bed Syndrome for weeks now.

Scary Monster said...

Mr.Dyckerson. Once again you go too far. The insensitivity you show at other peoples debilitating afflictions all for the sake of a few giggles clearly displays irreverence for those who are clearly in need of help. This terrible disease affects thousands upon thousands of Americans who once diagnosed can only either hope for a medical miracle or continue to line up at the Superman rides in theme parks all across america.

Mighty Dyckerson said...

TFG - I'm sorry to hear that. Maybe now you can move on to wings or drumsticks.

Monster - Hah, I see what you did there! You had me going for a minute, but then you pulled the ol' switcheroo at the end. Well played.

Corn Dog said...

My husband has RLS. What an aggravating thing.I can't stand it. That and the snoring is almost more than a woman can bear.

Anonymous said...

Beautiful, fucking beautiful. FYI I'm talking about the RLS post and not about your glorious post that causes angles to weep and sing their praises.
Don