3/01/2007

Let The Games Begin

It's time for another installment of everybody's favorite new game.....




Here's how it works. I pick a blogger from my list of Mighty Blog affiliates. Then I write a post in which I pretend to be pissed off at that blogger! It's great fun, and absolutely pointless! Here's a highlight from our last edition:


TFG, you are a WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT. How fucking STUPID do you think I am anyway? Did you honestly think nobody would notice? Christ, what is your fucking problem??! Are you REALLY that damn dense??!!!!



And who could forget this classic gem from our October 2002 episode:



Holy shit, Pureiliewawaiteie. You should be ashamed of yourself. How the hell can you possibly sleep at night? I don't ever want to see your PATHETIC ASS near my blog again!!!!!!!


Now, on to this week's contestant is MAVEN! Maven is the author of Sanctum Sanctorum. Her hobbies include haikus, ennui, and bivouac pantomime! Now if everyone is ready, let's play.....




Maven, what in the hell is wrong with you?? Have you LOST YOUR FUCKING MIND???!! I simply cannot believe you. I swear I'll never understand how people like you can possibly exist. I mean, for chrissakes, did you even bother to THINK first?? Did it ever occur to you what a GODDAMN ASSHOLE you were being?? I am so pissed right now I am literally SHITTING BRICKS. All I can say is, it's a good thing for both of us you're not here right now...because if you were, then God help you. It makes me PHYSICALLY ILL just thinking about you. Why don't you just CRAWL IN A HOLE AND DIE??!?!!


This has been another installment of.....




Thanks for reading!!!


20 comments:

Randomness said...

Shit lets hope I never blog anything to piss you off. I don't want to be ripped apart. Hmmm, even if you did rip me apart, I would pry just laugh and move on with my life...but I will still be cautious. Hell, maybe I will find some way to piss you off just so you have someone to bitch about and I will get to see what you can come up with about me. I will think about...let me know.

tfg said...

Jesus Christ. I can't believe that you're still pissed that I knocked up Grandma Dyckerson, again.

puerileuwaite said...

Thank God you said something. She's really been getting under my skin. And not in the good way either, like in "Silence of the Lambs". That (and my need to masturbate once per hour to TIVO'd segments from "The View") is WHY I haven't been able to sleep at night.

Mighty Dyckerson said...

Randomness - You could never piss me off, my cute little Cornhusker. *Smooch*

TFG - I don't mind that you knocked her up. But eating GrandPA Dyckerson's pork rinds was uncalled for.

P - I haven't masturbated to "The View" since Starr Jones left.

Scary Monster said...

You be one messed up mutant. Me glad that you be around.It be a positively ass clenching experience to read your posts.
What exactly are you gonna do with that banana you be holding?

andy said...

...and I want my fucking toaster oven back, whore!...


this bandwagon thing is liberating...

It's Me, Maven... said...

Thanks for the hating, Dyckerson!
I think you're just jealous I can shit complete (and sometimes blasphemous) sculptures. My last one was a poo-poo-Pieta. I'll just get all Christian on ya, turn my other (butt) cheek, and offer up a queef of friendship and forgiveness.

Imagine if we joined forces. Very scary, indeed.

Beth said...

ahhh...I freakin love you dyckerson...and is it "dyckerson" like Bike, Like and Mike,...or is it "dyckerson" like sick, Rick and lick....which you can do anytime...lick, that is! But not in that creepy clown costume.

Gucci Muse said...

Yeah, what are you going to do with that banana?

Some suggestions:

Give it a chocolate dip as you only know how.

Let Grandpa Dyckerson have it since his "hit and run" gumming when he mistook it for something else.

Slice it and decorate your poop icons, to spruce up yor blog a bit more.

Substitute your blinking polka dots with creamy sliced bananna discs to compliment the chimp in you.

Mash it, between your immense overbite and thick monkey tounge to prepare the fruit portion of Grandpa Dyckerson's nutritionally complete lunch.

~ Stacy ~ said...

Exlax works wonders, ya know.

~ Stacy ~ said...

P.S. Nice work with the 'pretends to be mad...' buttons, or whatever you call 'em. The pink font adds just the right amount of femininity without being offensive.

Mighty Dyckerson said...

Cookie Monster - I'm making a banana split.

Andy - That's no way to talk to your mother.

Maven - Get out of my sight, you pathetic excuse for a human being. I wish you had never been born!

Beth - Shouldn't you be looking at that house again? It's been almost two days...

Gucci - All good ideas. I was just going to insert it in Stacy's vagina.

Stacy - Pink?? PINK??!! Where the fuck do you see PINK on this blog?? It's RED...now get a new computer!

It's Me, Maven... said...

Dyckerson, now you and my "touch of IBS" afflicted colon are singing the same tune...

~ Stacy ~ said...

Regarding said banana: Really? You thought of me. How sweet. Tell ya what, I've got a pair of forks with your name on 'em. Bend over and show me that moon, baby!

Oh, and it's pink, Love, not red... bright, fuchsia pink. But if you'd rather call it red, I completely understand. After all, you are a rather sensitive clown, I wouldn't want to make you mad at me or anything.

[snicker]

Willo Keays said...

Remind me not to ever piss you off.

Manola Blablablanik said...

Yo, I have some KY so you won't have to shit bricks ...

karla said...

I don't remember what my comment was going to be the other day, if Blogger had let me leave one, but rest assured, it would have been the perfect combination of vicious and witty.

Mr. Fabulous said...

I think everyone needs a group hug and a good colon cleanse...

Crunchy BC said...

My wife plays this game with me, only she calls it "foreplay."

Mighty Dyckerson said...

Maven - Your colon sounds a bit flat. I think it needs a tuneup.

Ms. Babble - How did your comment slip past security?? I can see I need to update my spam filter.

Mr. Fab - I ate a sausage biscuit this morning. Trust me, my colon is now cleansed.

BC - Ms. Babble and I call it "afterglow."