10/22/2006

I Am Sick In The Head

Holy motherfucking hell, I do not believe this bullshit. I first told you about my damn head cold over a week ago. Then I got better. But now Death has returned...and this time, it's personal.

I haven't had a decent night's sleep in three days. My head feels like it is about to explode. I cannot breathe. And I have expelled enough snot to fill three 10-gallon aquariums five times, twice an hour for a month.

Why must Nyquil taste so fucking nasty? A few years back, the people that make this shit thought they could fool us by packaging it in various imaginative flavors...like cherry, menthol, and cherry. Didn't happen. Instead, we ended up with a product that tasted nasty and a little like cherry.

Anyway, I shall keep this post brief, for Death is beckoning me...and the Nyquil is kicking in. Meanwhile, enjoy this video of my dear grandpa Dyckerson, bless his soul...





Mmmmmm... Fried pig pussy! Once you eat one of these pig pussy pork rinds, you'll never eat another.. human pussy again. But FUCK human pussy! I fuck dead pigs. You'll read all about it in heartburn how I fuck them dead pigs before I turn em into pork rinds!

I couldn't get no twat from serenity back then. She only wanted dildos in her pussy twat. Big phony bologna dicks. But now she wants this real cock. Come here serenity lets show these assholes how we fuck. Lets show these assholes how we fuck. My sweet sweet serenity.

Fuck an umbilical cord out of your phony asshole, and I'll hang a pig with it, while I impregnate you with my 80 year old pork rind dick. You'll give birth to a dead pig and we'll cut him into pork rinds.

I'll eat pork rinds with God. In a land that speaks only with its eyes. No language, no dildos, no fucking laws! Where the whores can't sell their pussy. Or use their twats to gold dig. A land where us warriors run free with our big dicks out, and our fucking hair wild.

Eat pork rinds, eat dead pigs. Eat pork rinds, eat dead pigs. Eat pork rinds, eat dead pigs. Salt their dead skin and put em in plastic bags. Fuck you, you fucking, farting robots. Suck my dead pig. Suck my dead pig!

16 comments:

tfg said...

Damn, even I found that disturbing.

Willo Keays said...

Oh dear god ... my son walked in the room while that was playing ... and will now be scarred for life.

Dyck .. feel better. Let me know if you need anything.

Willo Keays said...

and yeah .... you are sick in the head! BTW. Where do you get these things?

RevRee said...

So I should be expecting a relapse of this sickness as well? FUCK! I just got back to work from being sick for the last 3 days!!!

Oh yeah, great video, I just puked a little in my mouth...

the dude said...

Wow...I need to bleach my eyes.

jmeped said...

I like salt and vinegar pork rinds...

Yeah, him. said...

If Nyquil didn't taste so nasty, all of the high school kids that work at Wendys, McDonalds and Burger Kang would be too messed up to actually serve me my fries in any kind of a coherent manner (not like they can make change or assemble a specialty burger anyway, but just the same).

Manola Blablablanik said...

Get well soon!

DykesDog said...

Is this what you will be like when you get older Mighty Dyck?! You may need to lay off the dead pig some. They say raw pork will make ya sick!

Seriously , I am sorry you are sick. I hope that you feel better soom ...

Pud said...

This is soooo going to be you when you are old.

blog Portland said...

What I do is mix the green NyQuil with a fifth of Jagermeister. Two days later I wake up feeling rested and refreshed.

Baron Ectar said...

Lesson Here - You are what you eat!

Anonymous said...

Try taking a dump. If that doesnt work do a cartwheel with a cigarette in your mouth. If that doesnt work beat off six or seven times to internet poon and take a nap.

Mel said...

Don't know if I'm more disturbed by all that snot or the pig-fuckin' grandpa....


or the fact that someone thought it would be cool to tape that and put it on the net.

get better soon and switch to Buckleys before you know it you'll be better and singing the praises of Nyquil.

~ Stacy ~ said...

Holy-pig-fucking-pork-rinds, Grandpa! You ARE sick in the head!

Cid said...

This guys is amazing. I swear I want to take him home and spend the weekend with him. This is brilliant!! I love you grandpa Dyckerson!!!!! YOU'RE THE BEST....