9/18/2006

Suck My Plinko Stick

34 fucking years.

That's how long The Price is Right has been on the air. Today marked the first show of the 35th season of America's most exciting hour of fabulous prizes and blah blah blah. Yeah, I watched the season premiere. I admit it. Actually, I tivo'd it...as I do every day. But I don't always get to watch it, and when I do, I never watch the whole thing. In fact, once I fast forward through the commercials, endless prize plugs, and boring Showcase Showdowns, the show is only about four minutes long.

There's something kind of charming about a show that hasn't updated its set in 34 years. Do you know how many hands have touched that filthy wheel? I wouldn't spin that thing wearing a pair of Isotoner gloves. Jesus Christ, even homeless guys steal a new shopping cart every now and then! And the light bulbs...my God, the light bulbs!! They're everwhere, and in every shape, size, and color!!

And then there's the man himself, Bob Barker. The man refuses to die or retire, and no one knows why. Surely he must be sick and tired of pimping refrigerators and getting groped by fat old chicks. I guess it's better than the alternative: Rotting away in the Old Gameshow Hosts' Home with Wink Martindale and Bob Eubanks. Hell, even the crew is old. I swear one of the cameramen had a crap bag hanging from his camera...although I guess that could've been a parting gift. Who knows.

So here's to old Bob and The Price is Right, for doing whatever the fuck it is they do for 34 years and counting.


29 comments:

Chris said...

Bob sticks around because he has it in his contract that he gets to bang all the showcase models. And Hugh Hefner thought he had a sweet gig.

DS said...

seriously, I think his microphone is almost the same age of the show think how many people spit on that damn thing in 34 years. Now we know how AIDS spread

photogguy said...

The lights?

You're complaining about the lights?

YOU?

Have you seen your blog lately, with the Price is Right wanna-be lights on the sides?

I mean, come on...

Yeah, him. said...

Do you realize that Bob is now in his 80's?!!

To me, he'll always be the guy that beats the shit out of Adam Sandler in Happy Gilmore.

That's a good thing.

puerileuwaite said...

That piece of shit is still on the air? The Price is Wrong, bitch!

DykesDog said...

He sticks around because, Mighty Dyck, he knows you are watching, and he has never been known to disappoint a Dyck!

the dude said...

The show has gone downhill since the death of Rod Roddy and his unmanly suits.

Pud said...

I think the Viagra keeps Bob Barker alive. It is like a perservative.

jmeped said...

The price is WRONG bitch!!!

jmeped said...

Humph I just read the pug beat me too it! Just the same.

Mighty Dyckerson said...

Chris - The man breathes through a tube. I think his model-banging days are over with.

DS - Actually, Bob has a spittle specialist who keeps his mic nice and tidy.

Photogguy - Lights? On my blog?? They're so subtle, I hadn't really noticed.

Jmeped - It's okay, baby. I like it better when you say it.

~ Stacy ~ said...

Is it "Bob" theme week on the Mighty Blog?

andy said...

Dude, I love the Price is Right. I don't care how much of a housewife that makes me, but I love that shit. Especially the one where they golf. Hot shit, that's a good damn time.

RevRee said...

I'd like to know where that chick gets her bras?

/t. said...

people
who won't
die on cue
are a pain

/t.

~ Stacy ~ said...

I enjoy "Cliff Hangers" on The Price is Right. Dunno why, really; I just do.

~ Stacy ~ said...

The Price is Right's "Clock Game", on the other hand, makes me want to vomit. I don't do well with deadlines, I suppose. They're too... pushy.

~ Stacy ~ said...

...And "Plinko" stresses me out.

~ Stacy ~ said...

/t. - My ex is a pain.

puerileuwaite said...

Me too, Rev, so I can hide in the ceiling of the fitting room.

Baron Ectar said...

Suck My Plinko Stick - is this one of the things that you added to the list of items not to be placed in your mouth?

miss_lissa said...

You got Tivo for the Price is Right?

Willo Keays said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Mighty Dyckerson said...

Andy - Calm down now. You need to get out more.

Rev - Who says she wears bras?

Stacy - I think it's the yodelling that attracts you to Cliff Hangers.

Ectar - No, I enjoy a good Plinko stick now and then.

Lissa - No, I got tivo for Match Game. TPIR was just an added bonus.

Willo - Perhaps that's what killed him.

tfg said...

Your probably PIR viewer who is under 50 or not incarcerated.

Manola Blablablanik said...

Aw ... I grew up with TPIR! I can't believe it's still on!

Crashtest Comic said...

The Price is right freaking sucks.

Fiddling while Rome burns I see.

andy said...

I know. Getting out is not my strong point.

unless it's with your mom, and all.

(i couldn't think of anything actually funny or witty, so that's what you get. sorry)

Mighty Dyckerson said...

Manola - Oh, it's on, baby. Let's get together sometime and play "hide the Plinko chip" in my bedroom...

Andy - Oh no you didn't!!