8/06/2006

Downsizing

Dyckerson OmniMedia is taking measures to streamline our operations, improve efficiency, and cut costs. Listen up, people. This affects all of you.

First, DYCK'D is dead. That's right, you heard me. I am sick and tired of reviewing your pathetic, rotten, stinking, inferior blogs...only to have no one read them. Besides, trying to maintain one blog is more than enough to keep me busy. And now that I am reinstated on Medialine, I can see I have my work cut out for me there. That place has clearly deteriorated in my absence, and the people are counting on me to come to the rescue. So the DYCK'D blog will remain on the Internets for the time being, but there will be no new reviews.

Second, I have removed the word filters from the Dyckersonville message board. People, I never wanted my own message board. I didn't ask for my own message board. But one of my diehard fans set me up with this freebie board about a year ago, and I didn't have the heart to tell him I didn't want the fucking thing...especially since the hosting company doesn't allow profanity or nudity. I mean, what good is a message board if you can't say "cocksucking asshole rat bastard" or post a picture of two lesbians performing oral sex on a monkey? Fuck that shit. From now on, the gloves are off. In fact, I challenge each of you to visit Dyckersonville and post the rudest, most offensive thing you can possibly think of...and we'll see how long it takes the PHPBB goons to kill the board. Come on, Dyck fans! Make me proud!!

Third, the Mighty Blog affiliates listing has shrunk a bit. Blogs are expected to meet the highest of standards in order to earn The Mighty Blog Affiliate Seal of Adequacy...one of those standards being that you actually post once in a while. So I removed a few inactive blogs that had cobwebs* growing on them. There are several more of you whose names I won't mention (cough Minwah cough) who are on the endangered list, so get off your lazy asses and get blogging!

And finally, RevRee, Stacy, and Jmeped are moving to India. I hear the cost of living is much lower over there, so I'll save a bundle on the payroll. Pack your shit, ladies! A cargo plane is waiting for you at the airport.

That is all.


*What the fuck is a cob, anyway??!


15 comments:

~ Stacy ~ said...

So, you are still on Medialine, I see.

You know, you ought to do a review on the Bitches before you shove Dyck'd off the end of the... ahh, blogosphere. I would read it. Actually, I've had a review written up for them for quite some time, but I keep forgetting to post the damn thing.

Cargo plane? My, aren't you feeling generous, Mister Dyckerson.

*cob

jmeped said...

I am sorry clown but I only fly first class, and with all of the money you'll be saving in India you really could spring for a charter jet. How about Dykerson airlines. I'll wear the flight attendant uniform you like so much.

karla said...

While you may not have any webs on your cob, it is an objectionable cob even so.

blog Portland said...

Send me off to India; I could stand to lose about 40-50 pounds, and what quicker way is there than amoebic dysentery?

DykesDog said...

Nice to see you are making improvements Clown!!!

Mighty Dyckerson said...

Dykesdog - Jmeped is the only one who's allowed to call me clown.

RevRee said...

I already have enough horny indian men trying to hook up with me. I don't need to move to India!!!

ASL PLZ U R HOTT! I SEX U GOOD!

Manola Blablablanik said...

OMG, this is all too complicated! What happened to the days of scrubbing your floors at the plantation?

jmeped said...

That's right! Because when I do it it's a term of twisted endearment, and in your pretty little clown head you imagine me bleaching the whites when I say it.

Sudiegirl said...

Hi...I saw the note you left regarding "leaving the nice woman alone".

If you were serious, thanks.

If not, I can't do anything about it.

But good luck with your blog...it's really neat looking. I'll be back.

Cash said...

If they're moving to India, it will give 'toilet monkeys' a whole new meaning.

Does this mean you can buy long pants with your newfound savings?

Mighty Dyckerson said...

Sudie - No, I wasn't serious. You'll learn, dear. You'll learn.

Cash - Me wear long pants?? And deprive the world of my cute knees and hairy legs??! Bite your tongue!

DykesDog said...

Forgive me Mighty Dyck for I have sinned ...

Sudiegirl said...

That's OK...I like you anyway.

I agree with stacy, however!

Willo Keays said...

Whew! I'm still on the blogroll! AND - I don't have to move to India! That means Dyck likes me bestest!! Woo Hoo!!!