7/23/2006

My First Drunken Post

So i went out to a bar which i rarely do, and i'm sitting at the bar drinking rum and ckes. There's this really hot chick sitting a few stools down witha fat female friend but her view is paritially aobstructed bya goddampoll but i keep looking at her but hse doesn't look at me...andyway I keep looking at her wondering why nobody is approachign this fine lookige ass but i'm such a pussy that i don't buy her a drink, so finally she leaves with her fat firend and then i take aleak and leave too, only its fuciking pouring otuside so i have to run to the parking lot - you ever try running while you're drunk? It's not a good thing, an;yway I made it home so Here i am all alone. Godd that woman was beautifujl what the fuck is wrong with me anyway/

Goodnightg

Oh by the way jemped im' in love iwth you so i hope you''ll call me sometime and we could talk OK/ you're beatufivul!

You know who else is hot is that Amey poehlar on snl, the show sucks and she's kinda old but she's still gettin it done, you know what i mena/?

21 comments:

karla said...

Don't beat yourself up about not approaching the hot girl in the bar. Chances are, she would have turned you down anyway.

jmeped said...

Is running while drunk like tiepeeing while drunk?! =) You make me laugh clown, and then I cry a little on the inside.

Mr. Anthrope said...

You would have been blocked by the fat chick if you'd gone after her friend. It was probably for the best.

Mighty Dyckerson said...

Ms. Babble, why must you hurt me so?

Jmeped, that depends. What the hell is tiepeeing?

Mr. Anthropod, I always carry a box of fruit with me. Scares off the fat chicks.

Chief Scientist said...

Dude, your internet wife is going to be pissed you wrote that. I mean, we are okay with it, because we can then prey on her resultant low self-esteem to trick her into deviant sex. But you will be in the doghouse. And that's even smaller than your real house.

puerileuwaite said...

Could've been an optical illusion. In reality it probably was one fat chick with one extremely fat chick. Rosie O'Donnell and Starr Jones, for point of illustration. Been there, mighty d. You were lucky to escape with your life. On the other hand, you WERE watching SNL, so you may have been in a freaky enough mood for menage-a-truck. I wanna know what tiepeeing is too. Some sorta golden shower variation involving neck wear?

Anonymous said...

this post is so blackmail.

~ Stacy ~ said...

Awww, Mister Dyckerson, you're really quite sexy when sloshed. You ought to be just wee bit bolder irl... you might get lucky. After all, who can resist your charm?

Mighty Dyckerson said...

Mod - No worries. We have an open relationship. I can sleep with anyone I want to, and she can watch.

Puerileuwhite - Thanks a lot for that image. I may never have an erection again.

Stacy - Apparently YOU can, dammit...

jmeped said...

I was being sarcastic, I meant drunk typing. But thanks for the public affirmation of your love for me, now send me presents clown. I like shoes and cash.

Mighty Dyckerson said...

Jmeped - Cool, I'll send you a pair of my clown shoes and the change under my sofa.

Willo Keays said...

So ... I wasn't mentioned at all in your drunken rave. Well ... now Iknow where I stand on the harem list. At the bottom. After all ... you don't like "fat chicks". I get it. Whatever.

Manola Blablablanik said...

You drunken fool! So you only talk about Manola on hr blog, eh? Afraid Revree might notice?? You slut, you!

jmeped said...

you know if you really love me and want to do naughty things to me your gonna have to come up with more than old shoes and sofa change. I require a lot of attention and you'll have to put up with trannys and threesomes. Are you sure you don't want to take it back =)?

Chief Scientist said...

Manola, let's help them work through it. I will give him advice and you help her. They'll totally be broken up at the end of it but you and I will be laughing in the shower together.

~ Stacy ~ said...

Resist you? Me? Perish the thought! Why, you don't even have to give me any shoes, or copper coins, or marriage proposals, or declare your um, love on your blog. You make me smile, Mister Dyckerson, and that's enough.

Besides, you've already treated me to a magnificnet romp, plus offered a fantastic car, with leopard print seats and AC. I'm hooked, baby!

Mighty Dyckerson said...

Ladies, ladies, please! No need to fight over me. There's plenty of Dyck for all of you. Now if you'd all get down on your knees and form a line...

~ Stacy ~ said...

[chuckle]

Feeling ambitious, are you?

jmeped said...

Ha you funny, funny clown. You should be so lucky, why don't you get on YOUR knees.

blog Portland said...

I think your drunken instincts were keen, because the big fat friend is a dangerous foe.

minwah said...

Or you could carry a box of doughnuts, and throw one off to the side. The fat chick is bound to dive for it, and then you can swoop in!!!