6/21/2006

Mighty Dyckerson's Erotic Encounter: Part One

Yesterday I decided to post a Craigslist ad to give away all my empty boxes from the move:

FREE MOVING BOXES! ASSORTED SHAPES AND SIZES, ALL READY TO HOLD YOUR SHIT! YOU'LL THINK YOU'VE DIED AND GONE TO MOVING BOX HEAVEN! COME AND GET 'EM, YOU MOTHERFUCKERS! CALL 1-800-555-DYCK TODAY!!!

So I figured I'd have to wait a couple of days, and then maybe some fat slob with personal hygiene issues would call me at 3am and ask if I could bring the boxes to his trailer home 50 miles from town. But that's not what happened. That's not what happened at all.

Within an hour of placing my ad, I got an interesting voice mail from a very hot-sounding chick:

HI, MY NAME IS HALEY. I'M CALLING ABOUT THE MOVING BOXES ON CRAIGSLIST. ARE THEY STILL AVAILABLE? IF SO, WOULD YOU GIVE ME A CALL AT 555-XXXX? THANKS.

Now let's examine this line by line, shall we?

HI, MY NAME IS HALEY. I have never met a chick named Haley, but I swear, this is the hottest sounding chick name I have ever heard in my life.

I'M CALLING ABOUT THE MOVING BOXES ON CRAIGSLIST. Sure you are, honey. Sure you are. (Wink)

ARE THEY STILL AVAILABLE? Yes I am...I mean, yes they are. (Double wink)

IF SO, WOULD YOU GIVE ME A CALL AT 555-XXXX? Yes, I would be happy to have sex with you.

THANKS. You're quite welcome.

So I called back the lovely Haley and gave her directions. She said she'd be over around 6:30pm. Just enough time for me to come home from work, put on some soft music, light some candles, and slip into my red silk bathrobe.

Fast forward five hours.....

At precisely 6:30pm, I looked out my kitchen window and saw a blue minivan pull up. Right on time...I like that. Then, there was a knock on the door. A very sexy knock. I dimmed the lights, loosened my bathrobe, and opened the door.

Haley was everything I hoped she would be. She was wearing a.....well I don't know what the fuck she was wearing, but she looked damn good. She had dark brown hair, a nice tan, and a gorgeous body. "Hi, I'm Haley. I'm here for the boxes," she said.

"Of course you are," I said with a smile, as I extended my arm. "Dyckerson's the name. Mighty Dyckerson."

We shook hands, and I gestured toward the boxes in the foyer. "My, these boxes are quite nice," she remarked, as she slowly bent down to pick them up. "Moving is such a pain, isn't it?"

"Yes, but I don't mind a little pain," I replied with a wink. (I don't even know what the hell that means.) "Here, let me help you with those!"

As I reached down to assist her with the boxes, my left hand accidentally brushed up against her curvaceous booty, my right hand accidentally brushed up against her supple breasts, and my tongue accidentally brushed up against the inside of her delicious mouth. "Whoops, sorry about that! Heehee"

Then Haley did something that I will absolutely never forget as long as I live...


TUNE IN TOMORROW FOR THE EXCITING CONCLUSION OF MIGHTY DYCKERSON'S EROTIC ENCOUNTER!!!

13 comments:

Manola Blablablanik said...

I'm waiting with baited breath!

blog Portland said...

You fucker. If Haley turns out to be a dude I'm never coming back to this blog.

RevRee said...

"I have never met a chick named Haley, but I swear, this is the hottest sounding chick name I have ever heard in my life."

I hate you

Mighty Dyckerson said...

McFatty - Shit. Now I've got to rewrite part two.

Rev - Don't be hatin'.

the dude said...

Well if I was typing this fake story to my hoards of blog friends I end it by having Haley saying her friend Jenna was in the van and wants to have a threesome with you. Afterwards you wake up and your underpants are strangely wet.

jmeped said...

I know, I know, you keep her in the closet and when you want her to do naughty stuff to her you let her out to play while manola scrubs your floors, and I bleach your whites. If your real nice to her maybe she'll recaulk your tub.

jmeped said...

She did show up for box though, she may mistake you for a girl clown. Your shoes aren't THAT big!

Noah Duffy said...

You sick son of a bitch. How dare you leave us with a cliff-hanger! Eh, good way to keep people coming back for more, I suppose.

Mighty Dyckerson said...

Tatro - My underpants are always strangely wet. It's only the source of the wetness that changes.

Jmeped - Actually, I planned on caulking her...if you know what I'm saying. And I think you do.

Noah - There is an excellent reason for this cliff-hanger. And I'll give you that reason...next Thursday!!

jmeped said...

Your going to make us wait until thursday to share the rest of your wet dream? I seem to remember asking if your "caulk" is made of silly string. Because that would be hot.

Manola Blablablanik said...

jmeped, maybe we need to form a union and go on strike!

Anonymous said...

Hi, i was looking over your blog and didn't
quite find what I was looking for. I'm looking for
different ways to earn money... I did find this though...
a place where you can make some nice extra cash secret shopping. Just go to the site below
and put in your zip to see what's available in your area.
I made over $900 last month having fun!
make extra money

Anonymous said...

Hi, i was looking over your blog and didn't
quite find what I was looking for. I'm looking for
different ways to earn money... I did find this though...
a place where you can make some nice extra cash secret shopping. Just go to the site below
and put in your zip to see what's available in your area.
I made over $900 last month having fun!
make extra money