5/28/2006

Colonel Sanders Has Alzheimer's

This is the most disgusting pile of crap I've seen since I accidentally tivo'd the Tony Danza Show. Have you seen the latest commercial for KFC??! They're pushing this thing they call a "bowl." In fact, all the fast food joints are into this "bowl" gimmick. The concept is simple:

1. Get a bowl.
2. Fill it with random garbage from the menu.
3. Promote and profit.

Getting back to KFC. I'll be honest with you, I haven't eaten in one of those places since I found a human scrotum in my bucket of Extra Crispy. But after seeing their new "bowl," chowing down on a nut sack doesn't seem all that bad. As for the contents of this thing, a picture is worth a thousand words...



OK, there's a lot going on here, so let's break it down. Starting at the bottom, you got your mashed potatoes and gravy. I got no problem here. This is actually the one item on their menu I actually like. But they couldn't just leave that alone, could they? No, no, no! They have to go and top it off with........CORN!!! What in the hell?? Who the fuck puts corn on top of mashed potatoes??! As if that isn't enough, they follow that up with - you guessed it - FRIED CHICKEN!!! Yep, it's a chicken restaurant, so God forbid one of their menu items doesn't contain poultry. But we're not done yet! Last but not least, we have........SHREDDED CHEESE!!! Boy, I don't know about you, but to me, nothing says good eatin' like a big ol' bowl of corn, gravy, cheese, taters, and fried breading. Why not stop there? I think they should crumble up one of their stale biscuits and throw that on top of the pile. After all, that's the only other item on their menu that they haven't included.

Seriously, who in their right minds would eat this shit? And where will it end?? I can see McDonald's getting in on this: Put a Big Mac, a Filet O'Fish, and a handful of Chicken McNuggets in a blender. Set it for puree, then pour the result into an extra large cup, and voila - The McMeat Shake!!!


15 comments:

Little Lamb said...

Such language.

Mighty Dyckerson said...

Would you prefer french?

Beth said...

Well- at least while you're eating it, you'll know what it'll look like when you shit it out-not much different. And I like their biscuits. Hate the chicken. I'd rather chew on old nutsacks.

Chris said...

Man if they can just throw an appetizer and a dessert on top of it, I can just make one stop.

minwah said...

That thing looks gross - the commercial makes me sick.

What could I stack on top of each other that would get your appetite going?

Mighty Dyckerson said...

Minwah, do I really have to answer that question???

Manola Blablablanik said...

But if you put cheese on something, it'll taste good ... even nut sacks!

andy said...

Shit. That's shit. I'm always complaining to everyone I know about how fucking vile that commercial is. That's sick. I want plates with ridges to separate my damn food. Don't mix them together in one damn bowl and tell me it's special. Assholes.

Mighty Dyckerson said...

Easy there, Andy! Remember your blood pressure...

I suggest going to KFC and ordering 10 of their "bowls"...then pay for it with a "bowl" of assorted pennies, nickels, and dimes.

RevRee said...

I hope you all know they're selling the food left on people's plates after they leave.

tfg said...

What they need to do is add a belt attachment to the bowl. That way, when the inevitable diarrhea fusillade begins, the victim can simply strap the bowl to his/her ass.

minwah said...

No, you do not need to answer Dycker-babe Should I start stacking....now???

Licks and kisses.....mwah!

Mighty Dyckerson said...

Stack away, my pet!

andrea said...

my god i agree! my husband actually thought this looked good...i wanted to throw up when i saw the commerical..and also emphatically forbid him to ever enterain the thought of eating this crap in my presence.

Spill The Beans said...

Interestingly enough, my ex-husband feeds my kids a variation on this meal practically every night they stay there. I think there's something about it that appeals to small children, perhaps the opportunity to play with the chunks.

My daughter, in the background, when I described this meal: "He gives us steak too."