3/25/2006

Week in Review: March 20-24, 2006

Here's a brief recap of last week's headlines in the World of Dyckerson:

I don't remember what I did last Sunday. Gimme a break, it was a fucking week ago.

Monday was employee appreciation day at work. This is an annual event in which the company likes to thank its employees by doing anything except giving us more money. This year, they ordered us breakfast. Well the biscuits were ice cold and the sausage gave me the shits. Thanks a lot.

Tuesday I showed my condo to some hot college chick wearing tight jeans. I wanted to make sweet love to her, but alas, her mother was with her. And before you say anything...no, a threesome wasn't an option in this case. Her mother's face gave me the shits.

On Wednesday, I went to the grocery store. I didn't need any groceries. I just like to scan my ass through the check-out scanner. Did you know that when properly combed and waxed, my butt hairs form the UPC code for $3.98??

On Thursday, I decided to start a blog makeover. All of the fucking Mighty Blog Network affiliates seem to be on a crusade to outdo each other lately, so I'm going to show all of them who's boss. Also on Thursday, Mark the Medialine administrator showed signs of weakening. In the Show Your Support for Mighty Dyckerson thread, he posted the following message:

GOD, YOU PEOPLE. HOW OLD ARE YOU!!!!!!

Then he locked the thread. He could have deleted it, but he only locked it. He's definitely softening.

On Friday, a bitch performed an act of idiocy in front of me in traffic. I was behind her in a right turn lane, when all the sudden she decides she needs to be in the left lane. So when the light turns green, she sits there with her left turn signal on waiting for.......ah, who gives a fuck.

On Saturday, I finally heard back from crippled chick about my condo. Turns out she's still interested. This dumbass has been "interested" for the last two weeks. Not only that, but it's been her lifelong dream to own a condo. Not a house, a condo. What a freak. I told her to shit or get off the pot. If I don't get a contract (or a blowjob) within 24 hours, I'm going to burn this place down just to spite her.


And that's what happened last week in the World of Dyckerson!!!

13 comments:

tfg said...

Consolidate. Put the blowjob in the contract.

minwah said...

Dyck - your post gave me the shits. Here's $3.98.

blog Portland said...

I finally went to Medialine to see what the hype is about. Posting as all of those different people must keep you busy.

Mighty Dyckerson said...

McFatty, there is one and only one Mighty Dyckerson. Accept no substitutions.

Now get a job!

RevRee said...

McFatty's out of a job now too?

Jodi said...

Minwah, Vagyna should be giving you the $3.98 for Charmin.

Cold biscuits and sausage that gives you the shits ... Sounds like a good time!

RevRee said...

GOD, YOU PEOPLE. HOW OLD ARE YOU!!!!!!

blog Portland said...

I was thinking of taking on the position of lameass forum poster. I hear one has recently opened up over at Medialine.

~ Stacy ~ said...

You know ... I have a link on my blog that will get you a lovely bottle of Imodium AD. ;)

tripe face said...

So Dyck, here I am fighting to get you unbanned and Mark goes and bans me.

I guess I'm stuck here.

RainStorm1212 said...

LOL, Dyck, you sure have a way with words!

PetStarr said...

You are hilarious. Possibly bordering on genius. That's all I can say. Fucking love this blog.

Mighty Dyckerson said...

The check is in the mail, petstarr...along with a naked photo of myself...