2/16/2006

What in the hell is the deal with cops?

I've always felt that anyone who chooses law enforcement as a career can't be right in the head. Think about it. They don't get paid well. They work shitty hours. And they put their lives in their hands every time they punch in. So why do they do it? And don't give me that "to protect and to serve" line, because that's crap.

Truth is, there isn't a cop alive that doesn't get his rocks off by abusing his power. That goes for the female cops too. Give these people a uniform and a gun, and they think they're God. They break every traffic law on the books, yet they're waiting behind every bush hoping to catch you doing 5mph over the ridiculously low speed limit. As if that weren't bad enough, now they've all gotten trigger happy. Doesn't matter if it's a kid with a water gun or a really scarey looking chihuahua. They're all fair game for target practice.

The real icing on the cake was this little gem from the local newspaper:

ON-DUTY SEXUAL ACTIVITY DEFENDED
Spotsylvania sheriff: It helps the county's detectives build cases


If you're too lazy to click the link, I'll give you the Dyck's Notes version. Apparently police in the nearby town of Spotsylvania have been engaging in sexual intercourse with women from a local massage parlor as part of some "investigation" (wink, wink) aimed at shutting them down. Basically their argument is they have to allow these women to give them blowjobs so they can charge them with the crime.

Check out these highlights:

Spotsylvania Sheriff Howard Smith said the measures are needed to bring felony sex charges rather than misdemeanors. He compared the practice to drug stings in which undercover officers buy illicit narcotics from suspected dealers.

"I don't see a lot of difference," he said...

You don't see a lot of difference?!! So you're equating a drug deal with felatio? Are you fucking for real??!

While undercover drug officers undergo special training, Smith said the detectives working the massage parlor cases have not had any specialized training in terms of the sexual circumstances they might confront.

Hmm...Sounds like they're getting plenty of "on-the-job" training if you ask me. Or is that "on-the-blowjob" training?

The detective involved in the latest sting is unmarried and volunteered for the assignment, the sheriff said.

Yeah, I'll bet he did volunteer: "Let's see...Handing out parking tickets...or playing hide the salami with a professional masseuse. I think I'll take that second one, chief." Hell, he'll probably be given an award for cumming above and beyond the call of duty. Top that off with two weeks of paid leave so he can deal with the emotional stress. At the very least, you know the detective's ass will be covered. He'll get off for getting off.

Look, I know I have some cops who read this blog. And I'm sure there are one or two decent ones out there. But allow me a human reaction, OK?? This is a complete and total bullshit, and every taxpaying citizen should be pissed.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to apply for a position with the Spotsylvania County Police Department. I hear the fringe benefits are outstanding...

9 comments:

Jodi said...

I wonder if they have a similar service here in The Gor. If so, I might look into becoming a proud member of the Bangor PD. Wait, scratch that. They would never let me play in their catbox.

RevRee said...

I once flashed a cop. True story!

blog Portland said...

Whatever happened to the good ol' days, when the only thing the cops did wrong was kill hookers? It's a sad time we live in folks...

Little Lamb said...

Spotsylvania?

Mighty Dyckerson said...

Rev, didn't I see you in the Girls Gone Wild video?

RevRee said...

you have no proof of this whatsoever!

RainStorm1212 said...

Hey, female detectives don't get assignments to close down male prostitution rings.
There's something wrong with that dept.

minwah said...

I hate to generalize, but lots of male officers use their power/intrigue to cheat on their spouses.

Mighty Dyckerson said...

I don't doubt it, Minwah.

I prefer to use my charm and good looks.