1/25/2006

Coming this fall: The MD!!!

It was announced yesterday that the struggling WB and UPN networks will be merging into something called "The CW." Don't worry, their programs will continue to suck. Only now, they will all suck together in one convenient location on your dial. And I predict we'll soon be hearing about a very special "Celebrity Smackdown" involving the cast of "Gilmore Girls" and "Everybody Fucks Chris"...or whatever it's called.

The merging of these networks means some TV stations will lose their affiliate status and become independents. That's pretty much the kiss of death. Consequently, many of my colleagues in the broadcasting industry are concerned about how this might affect their pathetic little careers. But where others see trouble, Dyckerson sees opportunity!

Think of it! We'll have all these TV stations with suddenly no network programming to air. They'll be desperate for something - anything - to fill those time slots. And they'll need a brand - a catchy name and logo that they can plaster on t-shirts and tote bags to identify themselves. That's where I come in. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you...........




That's right, it's The MD! And it will change the way you think about television forever!!

See, I've already got a name and a logo. That's half the battle right there. Now all I have to do is come up with a few crappy shows and a means of distribution. Now the shows will be easy. I already have a camcorder, and I can edit on my laptop with my bootleg copy of Adobe Premiere. The first show will be a ripoff of "The Apprentice"...only this will be called "The Moderator." Each week I'll videotape myself banning someone from my message board. And that's just one idea! I got millions of 'em!!

Now comes distribution. I gotta get the shows to the stations. The big boys use satellite, but that's a little pricey to me. Besides, all the shows will be in the form of .avi files on my computer. So I'm thinking of using file sharing software like Kazaa or Bittorrent. And to keep others from downloading my shows, I'll give the files code names that only the affiliates will know. Piece o' cake!!

And for all my efforts, each of my affiliates will pay me a fee of $50,000 a year! Surely this is a mere drop in the bucket compared to what the other networks charge! I can just see the $$$ rolling in now!

So come on, everybody! Join the MD bandwagon today!!!!

5 comments:

RevRee said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
eV said...

All together now, I WANT MY MD TV!!

Little Lamb said...

Party pooper!

RainStorm1212 said...

I just want to know why I don't have the Mighty Blog Network (MBN) logo!!!

Mighty Dyckerson said...

Rain -

Because you obviously haven't been paying attention. You may steal the code from my blog by clicking "view source" in your browser's menu. Please do so immediately if not sooner.