12/05/2005

Fun with Spammers

Dear Partner,

I'm happy to inform you about my success in getting those funds transferred under the cooperation of a new partner from paraguay. Presently i'm in Paraguay for investment projects with my own share of the total sum. Meanwhile,i didn't forget your past efforts and attempts to assist me in transferring those funds despite that it failed us some how.

now contact my secretary in Benin his name is Mr Richard Benson on mrrichard1515@lycos.co.uk ask him to send you the total of $800.000.00 which i kept for your compensation for all the past efforts and attempts to assist me in this matter. I appreciated your efforts at that time very much. so feel free and get in touched with my secretary Mr Richard and instruct him where to send the amount to you.

Please do let me know immediately you receive it so that we can share the joy after all the sufferness at that time. in the moment, I'm very busy here because of the investment projects which me and the new partner are having at hand, finally, remember that I had forwarded instruction to the secretary on your behalf to receive that money, so feel free to get in touch with Mr Richard Benson, he will send the amount to you without any delay.


Regards,
Mr Richard Benson.

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Dear Friend,

I don't know what to say, except thank you! This is really super great news! It is funny that you are in Paraguay, Mr. Benson, because my wife is actually from that wonderful land. I met her when I was there on business for Governor Gene Gatling* in the early 80s. Her name is Gretchen Kraus*. Have you heard of her by any chance?

Thank you again for remembering our sufferness and sharing these funds with me, Mr. Benson. I will be sure to contact your secretary Mr. Benson without delay so that we may share this joy. Please let me know if I can ever be of assistance to you again.

Sincerely,
Mitonimous "Mighty" Dyckerson
President/CEO, Dyckerson Enterprises

* This is a character from the TV show "Benson." I doubt they'll get the reference.

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Hello Mr. Benson,

Our associate Mr. Benson requested that I contact you regarding a transfer of funds to my account as compensation for my past efforts. The total sum he told me is $800.000.00.

Please send me these funds without delay, as I plan to use the money to open a gentlemen's club in my community. My address is:

Mitonimous "Mighty" Dyckerson
7800 Beverly Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90036**

Thank you so much for giving me your joy and cooperation. I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,
Mitonimous "Mighty" Dyckerson
President/CEO, Dyckerson Enterprises

**This is the address to send for tickets to "The Price is Right."

*******************************************************

Yes my boss did instruct that I send the draft to you as soon as you contact me. Please send a valid contact address where I will send the draft and any form of identification like driving license, international passport, social security or any form of valid identity and I will send the draft to you.

Feel free to contact me on +229 93 14 86 25

Richard

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Thank you so much, Richard!

You may make the draft payable to "Mitonimous Dyckerson" and send it to me at my business address, which is 7800 Beverly Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90036.

Unfortunately, my wallet was recently stolen, so I currently don't have any identification to offer. But I would be happy to sign a written affidavit stating that I am indeed Mitonimous Dyckerson. If this is still not agreeable, perhaps we could make other arrangements. One of my associates, Ms. Revree, is a professional male escort and can provide a full range of services for you at no cost. Or if you are not interested in women, perhaps I could take care of you myself. I would be willing to do anything necessary to obtain these funds.


Thanks again,
Dyckerson

*******************************************************

Please do what I asked you to do and I will send your draft to you without delay.

Richard

*******************************************************

Obviously you are a man of high morals and values, and I am afraid I have offended you. If this is the case, please accept my sincerest apologies. But I am still having sufferness getting the documents you requested.

So if you are not looking for companionship, perhaps you would be more interested in some adult films. I could offer you a super terrific collection of hetero titles. I also have man on man, woman on woman, man on donkey, donkey on lamb, and more. Or maybe you'd like something more exotic? I just got in a great video with fat white chicks urinating on handicapped Asian children. You name it, I probably have it.

Please contact me without delay so we can make arrangements. Thank you, and again, my sincerest apologies.

Mr. Dyckerson

*******************************************************

You are a bastard.

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Oh, I'm a bastard??! Excuse me, but who sent the bullshit spam to my email address? You seem to enjoy fucking with people, so I assumed you'd be into hardcore porn.


Maybe you should get a real job and stop trying to fraud people out of their money, asshole. Otherwise you'll be in prison starring in your own porn video and getting fucked up the ass.

http://dyckerblog.blogspot.com

16 comments:

Little Lamb said...

You're a chatacter!

RevRee said...

What kind of business is Mitonimous Dyckerson in?

Mighty Dyckerson said...

Monkey business.

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RevRee said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
RevRee said...

BWHAHAHAHHAHAhahahaha
hahhahahahahhahahahahah
ahahahahahahahahahahahah
ahhahahahahahahahhahaha
*COUGH* hahahahahahahha
hahahaha

RevRee said...

OH MY GOD!!!!! He called you a Bastard??? HAhahahahahha Classic!

Mighty Dyckerson said...

My good name has been slandered by a Robert Guilluame wannabe. I fail to see the humor.

JoinUsForCake said...

Krause was one piece of aaaaaaaaaaassssssssssssss!

By the way, nice effort screwing with that loser!!

Mighty Dyckerson said...

Thanks, Cakehole.

Krause?!! I must be thinking of a different character, because BLECCHHH!!!!

WXSlave said...

Yeah, so who's the bastard now? You should've sent him a nice virus or something even more creative (ha ha ;))

Little Lamb said...

You had to give this jerk your blog address didn't you?

Mighty Dyckerson said...

I was trying to help you, Lambo. I thought he might be your type. Besides, didn't you tell me you'd always wanted to visit Paraguay?

JoinUsForCake said...

Did I say Krause? I meant to say Aunt Esther from Sanford & Son.

Little Lamb said...

joinusforcake I never realized you had a blog. Nice one. Please read your comments.

Dyck I never ever said that.

Kaos said...

you are a god... hahahaha! great stuff.

-major kaos

Minwah said...

minwah said...
Okay - I did this today, and am eager to see how it works out. Here's my response and the original email:

My response:
Morris Thompson was nothing but a gigolo. He earned his money on the backs of unkempt whores. However, I will accept his millions. Please send a money order to 1313 Mockingbird Lane post haste. I will put his money to good use by starting a strip club in his honor. I expect this money within 4 weeks time, or I will file a lawsuit.

minwah sadansky

original email:
--- On Wed 12/14, emma abah <> wrote:
From: emma abah [mailto: emmaabah01@msn.com]To: undisclosed-recipients@, @Date: Wed, 14 Dec 2005 08:28:12 +0000Subject: NEXT OF KIN TO YOUR RELATIVE.NEXT OF KIN TO YOUR RELATIVE.From The Office Of: Barrister Emmanuel Abah.The Legal Practitioners# 12 Isaac John SteetIkeja-Lagos-Nigeria

My Dear Friend,May I crave your indulgience for the unsolicited Nature of this letter, but it was borne out of Desperation and current Development. Please bear with me. I am Barrister Emmanuel Abah. And Personal Assistance To Late Mr. Morris Thompson, I am writting in respect of a Foriegn customer of African Development Bank Group. Mr. Morris Thompson, of American who unfortunately lost his life in the Plane Crash of Alaska Airlines Flight 261 which crashed on January 31, 2000, including his Wife and only Daughter. You shall Read more about the Plane crash on visiting this site. http://www.cnn.com/ 2000/US/02/01/ alaska.airlines.list/and> http://www.nativefederation.org/history/people/mThompson.html

Since the Dimise of Mr. Morris Thompson, I have been expecting his Next of kin or relatives to come over and claim his Amount of USD20.5Million United State Dollars. From the Mentioned Bank which cannot Release the Funds unless somebody applies for it as Next of kin or Relation to the Deceased Late Mr. Morris Thompson. As indicated of the Banking Guidelines.Unfortunately I learnt that his supposed Next of kin being his only Daughter Died along with him in the plane crash leaving Nobody with the knowledge of this Fund behind for the claim. It is therefore upon this discovery that I and Two other officials in this Department now decided to make Business with you and Release the money to you as the Next of kin or New Beneficiary of the Funds for safety keeping and subsequent disbursement since Nobody is laying claims for it and we don't want this money to go Back into Government Treasury as unclaimed Bill.The Banking law and Guidelines here stipulates that such money remained after six(6) years will be transferred into Banking Treasury as unclaimed Funds. We agreed that 30% of this money would be for you as Gratification for Assistance rendered, and 5% will be out for any expenceses During this transaction, while the balance of 65% will be for me.

I will visit your country for the Disbursement According to the percentages indicated above once this Funds gets into your account which you are to Provide to Us. Please be Honest with me as Trust stands to be our watchword in this transaction.Our Assurance is that your role is risk free to accord this transaction the legality it deserves as with all modalities put in place we are certain in actualizing a hitch free transfer of the funds without any hitch. Kindly signify your intention to Assist by sending me an email for further procedures relating to this transaction.All I require is your Honest Co-Operation to enable us see this Deal through. I Guarantee that this will be executed under a legitimate Arrangement that will protect you from any Breach of the law.Please Note that all Necessary Arrangement for the smooth release of This Funds to you has been finalized. We will discuss much in details when I do Receive your response. If you are interested in this project contact me as a matter of urgency for further Directives.ThanksBarrister Emmanuel Abah.The Legal Practitioners# 12 Isaac John SteetIkeja-Lagos-Nigeria