The Dyckerson Family Christmas Newsletter

Well it's hard to believe another year has flown by, my friends and loved ones! And boy, has it been a busy one!!

2005 got off to a flying start in January when Mrs. Dyckerson was promoted to supervisor at Harry's House of Whores, the gentlemen's club where she has been working for the past seven years! As whore supervisor, she has a lot of responsibilities and overtime, but we've all been giving her our support!

Our precious little Dyckerson Jr. also made big news in March when he said his first word..... motherfucker! It's such a big word, Mrs. D. thinks he may be a prodigy! We're thinking of enrolling him in a one of those private nerd schools next fall!

Megan, our oldest, continues to wow us all with her talents as a saxophone player! The music teacher at school has told us on several occasions that Megan can blow like no one he's ever seen! And it's really amazing, because she's never had any lessons and doesn't even own an instrument!

As for yours truly, I completed the final draft of my second novel, "The Dyckerson Code," in May. I'm shopping for a publisher and hope to have it out next year.

This summer, we took our annual family vacation to Afghanistan. (My boss lets us use his timeshare cave every year.) Poor Megan got a bad sunburn, and Grandma Dyckerson got beheaded by terrorists, but I did manage to pick up a beautiful hand-carved vase made by the locals there! It's precious!!

A sad moment in October when Fluffy the cat passed away. Naturally, the kids were pretty traumatized. But I took their minds off it by telling them they were adopted. Works every time!

Well that's about it! Here's hoping you and yours have a very safe and blessed holiday season!!!


Little Lamb said...

My cat has a cold.

minwah said...

Once again, enjoyable reading. Glad to see your family is doing well. Best of luck to your daughter and tell her to keep on "blowing". You never know where that could take you! Just ask Monica...the most famous "saxaphonist" of all time!

blog Portland said...

The music teacher was definitely right. Ever since she compensated for her overbite, your daughter blows better than anyone else in your family.

RevRee said...

Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, kiss my ass. Kiss his ass. Kiss your ass. Happy Hanukkah.

Mighty Dyckerson said...

RevRee, this isn't the time or the place.

Little Lamb said...

Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah.

The heck with Happy Holidays, bah humbug!

Willo Keays said...

Merry Chrismakwanzacha .. or however the heck you spell it!