12/22/2005

Christmas Memories

During this holiday season, I am reminded of a humorous Christmas prank I once played on some unfortunate co-workers. This is based on a true story.....
One Christmas I was working for this cheapass station where I hated almost everyone. Management wasn't much better, but they did decide to give bonuses to the crew. The bonus consisted of six $5.00 gift certificates to a local restaurant we did business with (that's nearly a $30.00 value, people). The certificates were sealed in plain white envelopes and placed in everyone's in-boxes.
As it just so happened, I was one of the first ones to get the envelope. Once I discovered what it was, I snatched up several more of the envelopes from my co-workers' in-boxes and went to work on my dastardly plan. I tore open the envelopes, took out all the gift certificates, and combined them into one large pile. I then went to the supply closet and grabbed a stack of identical white envelopes to replace the torn ones. (Can you see where I'm headed with this??)
Into each envelope, I inserted a different number of gift certificates. Everybody got a different amount. The hot chick ended up with like $50.00 worth of gift certificates, while this one guy I really hated only got one $5.00 certificate. (Naturally, I got more than anyone.) So I sealed up the envelopes, returned them to my co-workers' in-boxes, and waited for the fun to begin.
Sure enough, later that day I overheard the bastard start talking to someone else. "What's the fucking deal with the lousy $5.00 gift certificate?", the bastard asked. The other guy showed him his envelope said, "Whaddaya mean? I got $25.00 worth!" Soon, another guy joined the conversation...then another...then the hot chick with the $50.00 came in. I'm absolutely dying at this point!!
Anyway, the morons never did figure out what happened. I think a couple of them actually went to the boss and complained. (that must've been a fun conversation). The bastard quit shortly thereafter (possibly for other reasons, but the stingy bonus had to help). Another guy offed himself on Christmas Eve. A suicide note was written on the back of one of the gift certificates: "See you in Hell, [name of boss], you asshole!!" Fucking HILARIOUS!!!!!
That's it. I just thought I'd share that story with you all. Beats 'Twas the Night Before Christmas, dontcha think???

4 comments:

minwah said...

Don't touch my gift envelopes.

RevRee said...

You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch

Little Lamb said...

No, the Night Before Christmas was much much better.

WXSlave said...

"...You're the king of sinful sots..." - Dr. Seuss