10/07/2005

Katie Couric And Her Boobs

I'm getting ready for work this morning, trying to decide which pair of Docker's I should put on. I have The Today Show on in the background*, as I usually do, so I can catch the local weather updates. Little did I know what was in store...

Apparently, October is "Tit Lump Awareness Month," because they're doing some feature on women and breast cancer. Only it's not enough to just talk about it and maybe show a few tasteful graphics. Nope, not for Katie. She decides she needs to have a mammogram done on national TV. Now, if this woman were 15 years younger, this would be my lucky day. But Katie is in her fifties, for Chrissakes. I have no interest in seeing her saggy, wrinkled bazooms while I'm eating my Fruit Loops**.

So away she goes, turning her back to the camera and removing the hospital gown to reveal her age spot-covered back. Flashbacks of her colonoscopy enter my mind...and soon, my Fruit Loops exit my stomach via my mouth. Too add insult to injury, they zoom in on her X-rays so I can see her droopy rack in living color. I'm telling you, it's enough to make this Dyckerson want to change teams!!!

From now on, I'm listening to the radio in the morning.


*This happens to be the same TV I'm trying to unload (see 09/30/05 post entitled "Liquidation Sale").
**I don't really eat Fruit Loops for breakfast. I chose that brand purely for comedic effect.

9 comments:

Little Lamb said...

What do you have for breakfast if you dont eat Fruit Loops is what I'm wondering.

RevRee said...

He has something sweeter...

Little Lamb said...

what could be sweeter than fruit loops?

RevRee said...

Ask dyckerson, he usually gets a little on his chin...

Mighty Dyckerson said...

Actually, I usually have some of RevRee's special oatmeal (you know, Peaches N' Cream flavor)...

Little Lamb said...

Peahes? Peaches? I hate peaches. Fruit Loops is much better then peaches. Peaches, yuck!

RevRee said...

Dyckerson really enjoys the peaches I offer...

Mighty Dyckerson said...

So fuzzy on the outside...

And so tender and juicy on the inside...

Mmmmmmmmmmm!!!!!!!

Little Lamb said...

That's the only good thing about peaches is their fuzzy skin and that's it!